Alien Invasion!
by Kaiimi
Summary: The Mushroom Kingdom attempts to make contact with extraterrestrials after finding out that UFO sightings are becoming a lot more common. They attempt to make peace with them by welcoming them to their planet, but a major shock happens when the aliens are seen blasting everyone they can into dust! It is up to Mario and friends to stop them before the whole planet gets taken over.
1. News Reports

Hello and welcome to yet another one of my horror comedy stories. I've had the idea for this for quite a while now and I decided to upload it in the Summer and not on Halloween. Why you ask? Because, one, I really wanted to get this story out while it's still fresh in my head lol, and two, a more serious, darker, and dramatic horror story will be uploaded on October (if this fic is even done by then). This story was inspired by the Sci-Fi/Comedy movie called "Mars Attacks". So, ladies and gentlemen...enjoy.

**The following story is rated T for swearing, crude/suggestive humor, and violence.**

**Characters: Mario Luigi Peach Daisy Pauline Rosalina Yoshi Birdo Toad Toadette Dixie Diddy DK Wario Waluigi Goombario Kooper Bombette Parakarry Bow Watt Sushie Lakilester Lakilulu Goombella Koops Koopie Flurrie Paper-Yoshi Vivian Bobbery Ms. Mowz Bowser Kammy Ludwig Wendy Toadsworth Jojora Toodles Queen Bee Fire Bro Mona**

* * *

"This is your favorite TV reporter, Jojora Icadora reporting for Channel 64 News. Another UFO sighting has been spotted on the outskirts of Mushroom City just a few hours ago. A guy who simply goes by the generic name of 'Fire Bro' caught the footage on camera and uploaded it on Youtube. However, what's different about this sighting is that there seems to be multiple UFO's in the sky in this footage as opposed to the typical single UFO that's seen in others. I'm live here at the scene with Fire Bro, also known as 'The Bastard Who Crashed Into My SUV Last Year'. Can you explain to me how you managed to stumble upon the UFOs in question?" she asked.

"Oh yeah totally! I snuck out towards the woods to snort some cocaine and then all of a sudden I see these lights in the sky and I was all like 'HOLY CHOCOLATE FRENCH FRIES, I NEED TO GET THIS ON TAPE!' so I ran back to my house, tripped over my pet Monty Mole, grabbed my camera, tripped over my pet Monty Mole again, ran outside, and then recorded the footage. Am I going to get paid for this?" Fire Bro asked.

"Hell no! Anyways, these UFO sightings are becoming quite common in not only Mushroom City, but all around the globe as well. Reports and videos are increasing by the numbers every week. What could this possibly mean? Is there truly extraterrestrial life out there that wants to possibly communicate with us? Are we getting very close to discovering what these things are? Only time will tell. This is Jojora Icadora reporting for Channel 64 News."

"ALIENS ARE REAL! I'VE BEEN ABDUCTED LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES!" Fire Bro randomly shouted right before it cut away.

Goombario was watching all of this in his bedroom, eyes glued to the TV. He looked as if he hadn't slept for days. After the news report had ended, he grew a wide smile.

"Yes...YES! I KNEW IT! They're finally coming, the signs are all here! I am a genius! But of course, when am I NOT a genius?" Goombario bragged to himself and grabbed the newspaper that was dated today (7/5/14). He went to his back wall, which had many newspaper and online documents that all had to do with alien sightings, folklore, mythology, predictions, rumors, etc. and stapled the newspaper to the wall, which had another alien sighting printed on the front page.

"I told them all that the aliens would be coming to invade the planet, but they all thought that I was just some lunatic! It all adds up...the increased number of UFO sightings has jumped the past month. It's now only a matter of time before the aliens land their UFO's and begin the extermination of the planet. I still need to find some kind of underground bunker nearby and figure out what I can use in order to kill the aliens..." Goombario pondered to himself.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

"Come in!" yelled Goombario, not bothering to cover up all the alien junk off his wall.

"Goombario? Hey, it's me, Goombella. You've been absent a lot from school lately and I just wondered if you're..." the goomba stopped speaking when she saw what was on the wall.

"Oh yeah, that. Sorry but I have been doing A LOT more important stuff than boring old school work lately. Did you hear about the new alien sighting!? Some dude caught a bunch of UFO's on camera! I'm telling you man, all these increased alien sightings are no coincidence! And do I even have to mention the crop circles that have been going in Petal Meadows and on Pleasant Path? The invasion of the aliens is coming and they are without a doubt going to try to destroy us all!" Goombario yelled.

Goombella looked at him like he was insane. "Yeahhh...okay. You, like, clearly haven't been sleeping the past few days. Ew, and you smell like garbage too! Come on, put on a lot of deodorant, get dressed, and let's get to school already! You can't afford to miss another day!"

"Oh yes I can. I have all A's in all my class. It ain't a big deal if I miss another day!" Goombario scoffed.

"Yeah it kinda is, you dummy. This will be the 7th school day you'll miss. I'm going to assume you didn't turn in that history report for Queen Bee's class?" Goombella asked.

"Um...well...like I said, I have A's all around so it's no big deal! Now go away, I'm trying to figure out where exactly other good hiding spots would be."

Goombella sighed, thinking that this boy is going down the drain. "Whatever. You better not miss graduation then!" She then slammed the door.

"I wouldn't worry about that, the aliens would have probably invaded by then!" The goomba called out.

* * *

Some time later, Goombella made it to Mushroom Kingdom High School and made it to Ms. Queen Bee's history class just as the bell rang. Her, Koops, Koopie, Flurrie, Paper-Yoshi, Vivian, Ms. Mowz, Kooper, Bombette, Parakarry, Bow, Watt, Sushie, Lakilester, and Lakilulu were students in there. Goombario is too, but he obviously wasn't there.

"Oh, that's just great, little Ms. Valley Girl is here. I was really hoping she actually wouldn't be here for once considering she's always in class 10 minutes before the bell rings," Lakilester spat, chewing on his pencil. Goombella rolled her eyes at him and sat a couple seats across from him.

"Laki! There is no need to be so rude. Let me guess, you didn't get much sleep last night? I assume you stayed up all night playing Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze?" Lakilulu obnoxiously asked.

"Oh shut up, you broad! What I do with my personal life is none of your business! AND FOR THE TRILLIONTH TIME, QUIT CALLING ME LAKI!" Lakilester exploded, making his 'girlfriend' cry right then and there.

"wassup yall gud mornin im a pass back da histry tests yall took yesturday. some of yall did gud but some of yall r jus so goddamn stupid i mean rly if ya got below 50% yall shuld jus go jump off a cliff," Queen Bee scolded/praised.

"I BETTER HAVE GOTTEN AN A ON THIS TEST OR ELSE I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO BLOW THIS PLACE TO THE MOTHERFUCKING GROUND!" Sushie screamed for no reason and threw her chair at Lakilester.

"OWWWWWW! YOU LITTLE BITCH! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN RIP THOSE FINS OFF YOUR BODY!" The lakitu roared and then the two got in a major beatdown, but no one cared to stop them since the two get into a fight every day anyways.

Watt got her test handed back to her and cheered when she saw her grade. "Oh yay! I got an A+ and got every question right! That means I get a special prize, right?"

"nawww ya moron," Queen Bee blatantly replied.

"WHAT!?" Koopie Koo yelled in disbelief. She got her test handed back and only got 80%, which was a B-. "What the hell!? How in the world did I get a B- while Watt, the biggest airhead to ever exist, got every single question right!? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!"

"Well, um, Koopie, you didn't really study as much as you did for this test unlike the other ones. Maybe it would've been better for you to not have watched all those alien shows recently? That did kinda cut into your study time...and your sleeping time...and us time..." Koops led on.

"Ugh, I am so sorry, Koops. It's just with all this chaos about literally everyone seeing these UFO's all over the world and so many rumors and reports popping up, I just couldn't help but get indulged in it. It really is interesting to know that we may finally find out if aliens actually exist in our universe!" Koopie squealed in excitement.

"Oh please, all that UFO crap is just one big hoax. I bet you 50 coins that all these 'increased sightings' are just people wanting attention and creating some fake and plastic toy that can float in the air so they can capture it on film and call it a UFO," Bow said in disbelief.

"I don't know, Bow...the videos I saw seemed pretty realistic to me. Plus, come on, there HAS to be some kind of life out there besides us. I just can't believe the theory that the universe is literally infinite and we're the only life forms that exist in it," Paper Yoshi disagreed.

"I definitely believe in aliens too. I am secretly hoping they visit us one day and we'll finally be able to have proof they exist," Kooper added in the blandest tone anyone has ever heard.

"Kooper, you have no personality, so therefore, you do not get a say in this," Bow scowled.

"My goodness, Bow! Must you act so harsh to poor, innocent, and bland Kooper? He has a right to speak and so does everyone else you know," Flurrie criticized.

"Shut up Flurrie! You got held back three times so you have no say either!" Bow pouted.

"But that's only because she wants to learn everything about Queen Bee, who is undeniably the best rapper in the history of the galaxy. Let's be honest here though, Flurrie stealing Queen Bee's 'coolness' won't work because one, Flurrie is the opposite of cool, and two, you have to be a master at stealing, coming from a professional kleptomaniac like myself," Ms. Mowz bragged and winked.

"How rude! I can be cool and...um...'hip' with the modern world! Yo yo yo, wassup y'all check this shiz out, Miss Flurrie bout to bring down the house!" The wind spirit rapped, trying to act all cool. Everyone else in the room had freaked out expressions.

"...Please don't ever do that again...EVER," Paper Yoshi said in disgust.

"ya srsly flurrie u will neva be as kewl as me. you srsly need to gtfo out of high skewl already im tired of havin yo ass in my class each year wich is why i gave u 100% on all ur assignments so u can graduate and gtfo already," Queen Bee told her off.

"Okay, but if Queen Bee is such an amazing rapper, then what is she doing stuck in this dead end job as a high school teacher? Was her rapping that bad that she got dropped by her label and was told to never do it again so people could save their ears from bleeding?" Parakarry smirked.

"bich shut da fuck up u don kno shit bout why i got dropped so unless u want 2 get a real gud stingin, zip it," Queen Bee angrily threatened and handed Lakilulu her test.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? I GOT 0% ON MY TEST!? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!? I'M POSITIVE THAT I ANSWERED AT LEAST HALF OF THE QUESTIONS CORRECTLY!" Lakilulu screamed in shock.

"actually u did but i jus rly do not like u so i failed u becuz ur an annoyin student and ur face bugs me," Queen Bee gave her the truth right there. Everyone else laughed at her while the lakitu cried even more.

"So Goombella, I take it Goombario refused to listen to you about coming back to school?" Vivian asked.

"Yeah, he did. He's an absolute mess right now! He's, like, so totally obsessed with all this alien and UFO stuff. And oh my god, you should've, like, seen his room! It was so dirty and his wall had a bunch of papers taped on it that were all articles and newspapers about the UFO's!" Goombella exclaimed.

"Holy crap, that is insane! The dude seriously needs help. But wait a second, where the hell are his parents during all of this? Surely they would've dragged his ass out of there and force him to come to school?" Bombette questioned.

"His parents have turned into deadbeat alcoholics so they don't care if he goes to school or not apparently," Goombella revealed.

"Aww, poor Goombario...but he needs to stop with this alien obsession! I really doubt they're even going to land on Earth anyways!" Vivian said.

As Queen Bee finished passing back all the tests, Principal Bobbery came in unexpectedly.

"Good morning, Ms. Bee. Sorry for the surprise interruption, but I am making an important announcement in each class today regaring graduation day," the bomb spoke.

"naw thas fine go head and do what ya need 2 do u sexi hunk of metal," Queen Bee winked, creeping out everyone else in the room.

"Errr...since when did she have a crush on Bobbery?" Ms. Mowz asked.

"And since when was Bobbery made of metal? Wait...are all bob-ombs actually made of metal?" Koops question.

"Well duh! The dude practically has 'Genuine Model Metal' stamped on his ass!" Parakarry spurted. Everyone gave him a weird look which made the paratroopa feel awkward as all hell.

"...Uhh...anyways...so, as you all know, graduation is three days from today. The ceremony will be held on the football field and it will start at 6 o' clock sharp but all of you must be there at least an hour before so everything will be prepared and ready to go just right. Please also make sure that have you bought your graduation gown and cap otherwise you'll just look a fool. Are there any questions?" Bobbery spoke to the class.

"I got one! What time are we suppose to arrive at the ceremony?" Watt asked. Everyone turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Um...five o'clock...like I just said..." Bobbery responded in confusion.

"Oh okay! And I have another one, what are we suppose to wear at the ceremony?" Watt asked again. Everyone else in the class was either quietly laughing or talking crap about the airhead amongst themselves.

"...Your cap and gown...like I also just said..." Bobbery said, becoming impatient with this girl.

* * *

Toadsworth, Luigi, Daisy, Peach, Rosalina, Pauline, Yoshi, Birdo, Toad, Toadette, DK, Diddy, Dixie, Mona, Wario, and Waluigi were all having lunch in the dining hall of Princess Peach's castle.

"OOF!" screeched Wario, as the chair he was sitting in suddenly broke.

"Way to go, Wario! That's the third chair you've broken this month! From now on, if you wanna come eat at my castle, you'll have to stand!" Peach shouted.

"Or maybe you just need to buy stronger chairs!? Come on, what kind of princess can't afford chairs that can withstand a 400 pound man?" Wario argued.

"Calm down, bro! Remember that you're getting your liposuction done in a few days!" Waluigi reminded.

"HUH? He is? Seriously!? How the hell are you even able to afford it?" Birdo asked, not believing this one bit.

"Um...I'm actually...paying for the operation to be done. Yeah, Wario had been begging me to help with the expenses for months so I gave in and said yes..." Daisy admitted in shame.

"I still can't believe you would do that. Just let the man lose weight the natural way! You're wasting precious money that could go towards our vacation to New Pork City!" Luigi cried.

"Ahhhhhhhhh shut up you overrated clone of Marioooooooo! Let the hot brunette do what she wants, she don't need no second rate hero like you to control her! Ain't that right, Toadette!?" DK yelled, slurring all of his words and looked to Birdo.

"Um...I'm Birdo, not Toadette. Please don't tell me you're drunk again! Who's bright idea was it to let DK have wine again?" Birdo groaned.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!? I'm not drunk, you're the one who's drunk, you...you...alien! Yeah, you're an alien who was tossed out from those UFI thingies and disguised yourself as some unknown species to blend in here! IT WAS ALL OVER CHANNEL 6004 NEWS!" DK cried and fell to the ground.

"...So anyways, check out my new manicure, you guys! Each fingernail on my hands has an image of a Mushroom, Fire Flower, Star, Shell, and Lightning Bolt!" Mona squealed, showing it off.

"No one cares about your irrelevant nail job, Melon-Head Mona! DK brought up something that we all should be discussing about right now...the aliens! We all know that they're gonna try to take over the planet so someone needs to be working on some huge weapon to blast those bitches back to Planet Morpheus or whatever kind of planet/universe they come from!" Pauline demanded.

"Uhhh...when the hell did you get in here? Peach didn't invite you to lunch so...how are you even here?" Toad asked.

"I just now noticed it too. This girl literally just appeared at the table out of thin air. How mysterious and annoying," Yoshi commented.

"Speaking of that, where is Mario at? He's usually here for this stuff...unless...he doesn't like us anymore!? I mean think about it, we always get in the way of his adventures and Peach gets herself kidnapped four times a week, so maybe he's just tired of it now!? WE ARE ALL A BURDEN TO HIM!" Toadette cried.

"Erm, actually, Master Mario is down at city hall discussing this whole 'UFO' ordeal with the officials and whatnot. I'm not quite sure of the full details but from what I've heard, they're gonna try to communicate with the aliens and see if they'll be able to be a part of our world," Toadsworth explained.

"Woah! That sounds completely awesome! Imagine if aliens co-existed with us, wouldn't that be sweet you guys!? Maybe they'll let us even drive their UFO's so we can crash them into Bowser's castle!" Diddy said in excitement.

"Uhh that would be the OPPOSITE of awesome. I don't think you realize how creepy it would be to have those things live on this planet that rightfully belongs to us. Plus, how would we even understand them? They surely must have their own language that they speak which means it would be impossible to communicate," Dixie argued.

"Well, with technology these days, anything is possible, Dixie. But then again, you wouldn't know that considering you live in a cabana on an island that's devoid of anything modern," Pauline sneered.

"Would any of you call the cops on me if I smashed this wine bottle onto Pauline's head?" Birdo threatened.

"Oh, I most certainly would! That wine bottle cost me 200 coins so for you to just destroy it like that would be the most horrible thing anyone could ever do!" Peach protested.

"Please, let's not get into anything rash right now. I would really prefer it if we go a day without someone getting hurt because Mushroom City is certainly known for its humongous murder rates, especially the more mysterious ones like people being sliced in half and people being stabbed in their anus..." Rosalina sighed, drinking some herbal tea.

Right after that debacle, Mario came rushing into the dining room.

"OH YAY, IT'S MARIO! COME ON YOU GUYS, LET'S GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR FAVORITE HERO!" Yoshi cheered and clapped, but then stopped when he realized that no one bothered to follow him.

"You guys, I have some very important news to tell you. The government and military have made contact with the aliens and they're gonna try to make this huge 'Welcome to Earth' event on Friday at Dry Dry Desert as that's where it's gonna be held and it's where they said they'll have the aliens land. They want me to be there in case anything goes wrong, because you know me, I'm the best hero this whole forsaken planet has ever had! Heh heh, but yeah. The news stations will be reporting about this all of tonight and tomorrow so everyone's gonna be talking about it," Mario explained.

"Alright, we get it Mario, you're an amazingly supreme fat superhero! STOP TRYING TO MAKE US FEEL BAD ALREADY!" Toad whined and threw a box of Ritz Crackers at him, but hit Daisy instead.

"OUCHIES! WHY YOU LITTLE..." Daisy roared and chased the screaming Toad out of the room.

"That's great! Ooh, I can't believe this is actually happening, we're gonna be able to see ACTUAL aliens! This is an important milestone in the history of the entire world!" Luigi geeked out.

"Do you know what time the event is suppose to be because I have a massage appointment at 3:00 that day and I refuse to miss it!" Mona said.

"It's supposedly gonna start around 1 so you all should be there by then...you guys ARE gonna be there, right?" Mario asked.

"Of course we are...even if it means having to waste gas driving there...and standing out in 110 degree heat...and avoiding all the creepy pokeys that never stop smiling..." Waluigi groaned.

"I can drive you and Wario to the desert if that's what you prefer. You can sit in the front seat, Waluigi, so you'll be able to see my...bobbleheads on the dashboard that I recently bought," Pauline winked.

"*COUGH*SLUT*COUGH*" Yoshi blurted.

"We will definitely be there to witness the undoubtedly legendary moment with you, Master Mario! I can't possibly imagine anything going wrong that would ruin it!" Toadsworth said in excitement.

Everyone else in the room gasped in fear and glared at Toadsworth.

* * *

Later that day, the news came on about there being the 'Welcome to Earth' event happening in Dry Dry Desert for the aliens. Bowser was watching all of this and scoffed at it all.

"Pah! What a bunch of idiots! Haven't they ever watched those Sci-fi movies before about a bunch of extraterrestrials that come to our planet and attempt to nuke the crap out of everything they see!? There's no way in hell this stupid event is going to go right!" The Koopa King shouted.

"Exactly, your ugliness! If these aliens wanted to become friends with us, then they would've landed on our planet and tried to communicate with us years ago! How much you wanna bet that there's going to be a massacre of some sort on Friday?" Kammy asked.

"I bet...a million coins...which is also why I'm gonna be there to see it happen. It would be one of the greatest pleasures ever to see chaos rain down on the pathetic citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom," Bowser evilly laughed and rubbed his hands together.

"Ooh! Can I come too, your gloominess? I also want to see the people scramble and scream for their mommies as they trip over each other!" Kammy gleefully cheered.

"Quit calling me dumb nicknames you shriveled up drone! And of course you're coming, I need you to protect me with your magic in case those bastards somehow get to me!" Bowser growled.

"Does this mean we get to come too!?" Wendy suddenly asked, jumping in front of the TV with Ludwig.

"AH! What the hell are you trying to do, give me a heart attack!? Do you want your own father to be sent to the hospital only for the people there to realize that I'm King Bowser, the nastiest of the nasty koopas in the kingdom, so they just kick me outside like some piece of trash?" Bowser angrily questioned.

"Erm...is zat zuppose to be a trick question? Do I get punished for answering it wrong?" Ludwig asked.

"You can't come, the 'Welcome to Earth' event is going to be too mature for you both! You wouldn't understand a thing that's happening and you might get nightmares from seeing the aliens!" Kammy yelled.

"I'm sorry, Wicked Bitch of the West, were we talking to you?" Wendy snarled.

"Bowser...do I have permission to magically remove your daughter's mouth so we don't have to hear her bitching about some irrelevant issue every goddamn day?" Kammy retorted.

"Eh, maybe some other time, but as for your question...I'd actually answer that with a yes. This is going to be an iconic moment for everyone to remember, and I want you kids to be there to witness the destruction that will most likely unfold," Bowser smirked.

"Hooray! I'll make sure to bring my HD camera so we can watch it years afterwards and pass ze beautiful moment down to ze next generation of ze koopa family!" Ludwig cheered.

"Yes...yes...but yet...if those aliens were to actually invade the earth...how are WE suppose to stop or hide from them?" Bowser whispered to himself, just now realizing that it could have a tragic effect on him as well.

EOC.

Next chapter is when the killings start to roll in and Toodles will be appearing next chapter as well so I haven't forgotten about her. Post who you want to survive and die and I'll see you next time!


	2. Meet the Aliens

**Characters: Mario Luigi Peach Daisy Pauline Rosalina Yoshi Birdo Toad Toadette Dixie Diddy DK Wario Waluigi Goombario Kooper Bombette Parakarry Bow Watt Sushie Lakilester Lakilulu Goombella Koops Koopie Flurrie Paper-Yoshi Vivian Bobbery Ms. Mowz Bowser Kammy Ludwig Wendy Toadsworth Jojora Toodles Queen Bee Fire Bro Mona**

It was the day that everyone had been waiting for...the day where people can finally come face-to-face with actual aliens, to know that they truly do exist. It is an enormous milestone to be achieved in the history of the planet and there was non-stop gossip about it everywhere you went. Some were excited, some were scared, some were still skeptical, but all in all, everyone wanted to see this for themselves so there would be concrete evidence that they truly do exist and that they aren't just a myth.

Hundreds, possibly thousands of people arrived in Dry Dry Desert to see the supposed UFO landing happen. Bleachers were set up so people could sit and see from afar. Cars filled up a huge portion of the desert so people had to park a mile or more from the scene because it was too crowded to try to get in there. A humongous crowd was gathered and placed dozens of feet away from where the UFO would supposedly land so as to not let anything get out of control and have people get hurt, or even unintentionally frighten the aliens. The mayor of Mushroom City was there too, along with the military (in case something 'outrageous' were to happen), and numerous news reporters.

"Jojora Icadora here reporting for Channel 64 News! We are here live at the scene in Dry Dry Desert, where many people, myself included, are currently waiting in huge anticipation for the alien landing that's said to be happening any minute now! This is an extremely exciting moment that will without a doubt go down in history for generations to come. Who could've possibly thought that we would ever get to actually witness aliens of all things in our lifetime!? Even I thought that we would be able to prove the existence of the legendary mythical creature, The Abominable Snowman of Sarasaland, before even getting a speck of proof that aliens exist in our world! Princess Peach, please tell me, what are your thoughts on this situation?" Jojora asked and handed the mic to her.

"Oh I am super duper supremely excited to meet the aliens! I'm really hoping they'll let me drive their UFO because the car that I have now is really old and it's probably gonna break down by itself soon so I'm gonna need reliable transportation to places because I REALLY don't wanna go through that super long process in buying a new car, you know? Also, I...wait...what was I talking about again?" Peach answered, then lost her thoughts.

"...Yeah, you're a lost cause. How about you, sir? Are you okay with the fact that we just may possibly co-exist with extraterrestrials?" Jojora asked to DK.

"Huuuuuuuh? What the eff are you even talking abouttttt? Are you from the Legend of Zelda or some crap cause you look hella mystical and I'm pretty sure that's blue paint on you. HEY, WHERE THE HELL DID MY WHISKEY BOTTLE GO!? DO I HAVE TO CRUSH SOMEONE'S THROAT!?" The ape suddenly screamed, grabbed a random Koopa, and threw him onto someone's car. The people around him shrieked and backed away from the angry drunk.

"Well, it certainly looks like this event has brought all the idiots out here too, but with something as huge as this happening, I suppose it's to be expected that people of every intelligence, race, gender, etc. would flock to see what the hype is all about. This is Jojora Icadora reporting for Channel 64 News."

"Well well well, look who finally decided to crawl out of their cave! What's the matter, Goombario? Were you being bullied so you decided to hide out in your room like a grade A coward until graduation?" Lakilester smirked as the goomba came walking over to where the Mario group was.

"Oh my god, can you just shut your fucking wideload of a mouth for once!? EVERYTIME YOU SPEAK, I FEEL LIKE MY EARS ARE GOING TO BLEED!" Sushie screamed and shot a blast of water at Lakilester that knocked him to the ground.

"HEY! That wasn't very nice! You better apologize right now or else...um...I'll place a curse on you?" Lakilulu tried to come up with a convincing threat but failed. Sushie also blasted her with water.

"You know Sushie, considering we're in a desert and it's extremely hot out, it's not the best idea to hurt someone with water because you're actually helping them in fact. I mean, geez, I thought that couldn't have been more obvious..." Parakarry rolled his eyes. Sushie growled and did her signature belly flop move on him, knocking him out instantly.

"Hey Sushie! Can you squirt your water into my mouth please? I am, like, suuuuuper thirsty right now and I left my water bottle in my car but I don't feel like going back there to get it!" Watt cried.

"Watt...you have the freaking water bottle in your hand. Ugh, I just cannot with you right now," Koopie grumbled.

"I do? Oh! I see it! Thanks Koopie, you're such a great friend!" Watt cheered.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! EVERYBODY JUST SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD WANT TO EXPLODE!" Sushie raged and ran off.

"Wow...I see that nothing has changed since the 7 days I've been gone. How is everyone? Did I miss anything important?" Goombario asked.

"You missed a test and a quiz we took," Bombette answered.

"Meh, I'll just take a makeup for it. Anything else?" Goombario continued.

"There was that history report we had to do, you know, the one about the ugly people who lived in the medieval Mushroom Kingdom and did some random crap no one cares about?" Bombette answered again.

"Meh, I can easily skip that one and not lose much of my grade percentage. Anything else?" Goombario asked yet again.

"We had to answer the 6 questions in the book from page 6592, the one about Toadopher Columbus and his discovery of Sarasaland."

"Meh, I can pretty much just BS the answers since I don't think Queen Bee even reads them thoroughly anyways. Anything else?"

"GOOMBARIO! Just ask the teacher yourself, geez! She's right over there flirting with principal Bobbery!" Bombette pointed to him in the direction and he looked over there and saw Queen Bee laughing and blushing while poor Bobbery looked very uncomfortable.

"Uhh...yeah, no thanks, I am not getting anywhere close to that mess," Goombario cringed at the sight.

"I was hoping you would come here actually. It, like, totally wasn't healthy at all for you to stay cooped up in your room for an entire week and getting, like, zero sleep!" Goombella said.

"Well I wanted to prove the existence of the aliens and see what they would do once they arrive here and tada! We are going to see them right in front of our very eyes! So therefore, I get bragging rights because I've done the most research about them unlike all of you jerks who like to shut down every alien theory just because your brains are the size of a grain of rice!" Goombario growled.

"You never even asked us if we even believed in them before so...you really should chill out. Or maybe just go back home and take a long nap, even the bags under your eyes are getting bags!" Vivian exclaimed.

"Well he's here now so he might as well stay. I really don't think someone who's so involved in researching about aliens would want to miss this grand moment too," Kooper stated.

"You're damn right about that, Kooper! Thanks! You're an awesome friend...even if you are extremely boring!" Goombario grinned.

"Dixie, I left my umbrella in the car, go get it for me right now! I'm sweating like a roasted pig out here!" Bow demanded.

"WHAT? Why me!? And you're a Boo! How can you even sweat!?" Dixie shrieked.

"I just do, okay!? NOW GET IT SO THIS STUPID SUN CAN STOP BLASTING ALL OF ITS HEAT ONTO MY PRECIOUS BODY!" Bow raised her voice.

"...Fine. I'll be back in a minute..." Dixie sighed, not wanting to argue and ran to her car.

"Excuse me, but what the hell was that all about? Are you seriously that lazy that you can't even get the umbrella yourself? Hell, you're a Boo! You don't have to walk, you can just float!" Diddy asked in disbelief.

"Well it's not my fault your girlfriend is so easy to manipulate. Don't be so catty Diddy, you've probably done it to her yourself at least once!" Bow rolled her eyes.

"No I would never do such a thing to my girlfriend you little tramp! If you so ever make Dixie do another thing for you again, I'll make Luigi grab his Poltergeist 3000, suck you up, and leave you in there forever," Diddy threatened.

Bow narrowed her eyes. "We'll just see about that."

"So Mario, explain this to me again, people are afraid that the aliens may possibly attack after they land so they had to bring out the entire Mushroom Kingdom military for security measures?" Daisy questioned.

"Well DUH! Every alien movie that's ever been made always has them blowing the crap out of everything and everyone! We can't just assume that the aliens will be all happy-go-lucky and want to play 'ring around the rosie' with people, we need to be cautious!" Luigi yelled in worry.

"You've clearly never seen the E.T. movie before, brother. That brought me to tears...I-I mean, it was-it was a masterpiece! Yeah. Nothing more to be said," Mario gulped in panic and turned away.

"Well in any case, it's best to stay positive about this. You guys really should stop the constant worrying and paranoia as it's getting quite annoying. I'm pretty sure the aliens won't want to just kill us for no good reason! It's simply impropable!" Toadsworth shouted. Everyone around him gasped again.

"Shut your face, old man! You just jinxed us yet again! If a massacre manages to happen, I'm making sure you're the one who dies first!" Waluigi growled.

"Oh just calm down and eat your cotton candy already before you become so thin that the wind will blow you away to a different country. I would've given you the other one I bought but I ate it because I was starving since I hadn't had anything to eat in 30 minutes!" Wario said.

"You know, it was totally a good idea for me to come out here. I am in desperate need of a tan so this was just a perfect chance for me to get back my glow! And this sunblock feels sooooo great on my skin, I should really use it more often just for the hell of it!" Mona cheered, spreading the sunblock all over her arms and legs.

"Hey Mona, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself in looks?" Birdo asked.

"A 10, duh! I mean, what guy wouldn't want a piece of this?" Mona giggled.

"That's exactly what I thought. Thank you for confirming my theory that you are vain and an idiot," Birdo spat and walked away.

"Ah, to witness such a life changing event and to even be filmed for the TV News with all these other trolls is such a marvelous outcome! I am ecstatic that I have chosen this day to put on an extra pound of makeup so everyone both here and the people watching TV can see my radiant beauty and think of me everytime they go to sleep," Toodles randomly commented, fanning herself and sipping Lemonade.

"Um...okay then...you do realize that caking all that makeup on makes you look like a clown, right?" Pauline responded.

"Oh I highly doubt that, my dear! But then again, this IS coming from the girl who's known to 'hit it and quit it' with different guys every single week and whose hair has obvious extensions that are longer a fruit roll up!" Toodless giggled while Pauline dropped her jaw.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU OLD BITCH!?" The queen bee exploded in rage.

"You heard exactly what I said, my dear, unless you're one of those girls who thinks acting like a halfwit is suppose to look cute," Toodles giggled again and that's when Pauline REALLY had it. She pushed the rich bitch down to the sand and spilt the Lemonade all over her clothes.

"Say something like that to me again and we'll see how your face looks with a black eye!" Pauline threatened.

Meanwhile, Bowser, Kammy, Wendy, and Ludwig were watching the event from a higher cliff further away.

"Hey, why ze hell is my Pringles can all empty!? I'm positive zat I didn't eat any on ze way here!" Ludwig cried.

"It was the Pringles monster that did it. Damn fatass always taking everyone's chips and sneaking off like a thief at the speed of light!" Wendy replied.

"Shut up! You were obviously ze one zat ate zem, just like how you ate all my cupcakes zat I bought from J-Mart last week! And you wonder why you can't seem to lose weight!" Ludwig spat.

"Um...actually, I was the one who ate the Pringles. Can you blame me though? They taste better than chocolate cake!" Kammy snickered.

"Okay, let's not go THAT far right now," Wendy rolled her eyes.

"All of you just shut the hell up! You're giving me a migraine. Now, what the hell is taking those goddamn aliens so long to arrive here!? Don't they realize that some of us have places to be that are at least 30 degrees cooler!?" Bowser impatiently grumbled.

"Why? What's so important that the aliens must be here now, your barfiness?" Kammy questioned.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THOSE NAMES! And it's important because I really wanna get back home and finish Majora's Mask already. I've owned the damn game for 12 years now and still haven't finished it 100%!" Bowser frustratingly replied.

"I know ze feeling, dad. I had too much trouble completing Sonic Generations so I just gave up on it and will probably play it again a year from now," Ludwig added.

"Are you freaking kidding me? That game is beyond easy! You must be terrible at gaming then, just like how you're terrible at everything else you set your mind to!" Wendy laughed right in his face.

Then...it finally happened. A UFO was immediately seen by everyone that was slowly descending to the ground. There was a mix of gasps, screams, cheers, and whistling throughout the enormous crowd. Everyone's nerves were rising as they all couldn't believe they were actually going to see real life aliens. This was literally a dream come true for most of the people.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT'S HERE IT'S HERE! LIKE I TOTALLY CAN'T EVEN POSSIBLY IMAGINE THAT THIS DAY OF GLORY WOULD EVER COME UPON THIS WORLD, BUT IT ACTUALLY HAS! DREAMS DO COME TRUE...AND APPARENTLY SO DO NIGHTMARES! I MUST TAKE A BILLION PICTURES OF THIS TO SAVOR THESE FINE MOMENTS! BUT FIRST...LET ME TAKE A SELFIE!" Yoshi cheered extremely loud and took a picture of himself with his expression being in dire excitement.

"The fact that this guy right here is basically an alternate form of me is incredibly sad," Paper-Yoshi whispered to Ms. Mowz, talking about Yoshi.

The silver UFO finally landed upon the ground and a small hatch near the bottom suddenly opened up. Then, some kind of pathway extended out and reached the ground. Everyone was getting more nervous and excited by the second.

"aw fucken a i cannot see shit behind dis tall ass bich i mean can u lyke move plz," Queen Bee scowled.

"Are you talking about me? How rude! All you have to do is politely ask and I would be more than happy to move myself out of your sight," Rosalina pouted and crossed her arms.

"yea watever can u jus move please ur ruinin all de excitement wit ur peach clone face," Queen Bee scoffed.

"Um...y-yeah! You heard her, missy! You better move or else...um...you're gonna fail History class and be forced to repeat it!" Flurrie yelled, trying to sound threatening but failed badly.

"flurrie shut da fck up dis gurl isnt even in skewl n e more gawd u r such a try hard," the honey queen rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I'm a try hard? That's a good thing, isn't it!? Oh joy! I do believe that's the first time I've ever been complimented by someone who is practically the second coming of Jesus Christ!" Flurrie gleefully cheered while Queen Bee was resisting pretty damn hard to not snap her neck.

"HEY! If it's annoying you so much then why don't YOU move then, hmm? I'm sure it wouldn't take much effort considering you can FLY!" Luigi came in to the rescue.

"ugh watever yall suck im a go fly back to da sexy principal and hopefuly snag his numba," The honey queen then floated away with Flurrie following behind.

"Thanks Luigi, that was so kind of you...but...you do realize we can't make ourselves obvious in public, right?" Rosalina asked while blushing.

"Yeah, I know...but I couldn't just stand there and watch that fatty bring you down. And don't worry, I'm gonna tell Daisy everything soon...I promise," Luigi then gave her a big smile and also blushed.

Everyone saw the first one come out...followed by a few others. Many gasps were heard along with sounds of pictures being taken. Some people even fainted at the sight of the aliens.

"Oh my god...THAT'S WHAT ALIENS ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE!?" Parakarry dropped his jaw.

"Holy shrimpcakes! I don't believe it! I imagined them looking like generic green or gray aliens with huge craniums!" Bowser shrieked, looking at the scene through his binoculars.

"WOW! It's been such a long time since I've seen them after they abducted me! Hey guys, how have you been all this time? Did your mission to destroy Uranus go through as planned?" Fire Bro excitedly asked.

"Toad, let me get on your shoulders! I can't see anything behind these gigantic people!" Toadette cried.

"Hell no! The last time you did that, you almost broke my shoulders! Just move to the front of the crowd!" Toad barked.

"Oh quit being such a loser and let me get on already! It's not my fault that you're so weak that you can't even lift someone who weighs less than you!" Toadette retorted.

"You're the one to talk! When was the last time you did any physical exercise!? And no, playing Warioware: Smooth Moves does NOT count as exercise!" Toad raised his voice.

"GOD, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" Toadette shrilled and knocked Toad to the ground and the two began to wrestle in the hot sand.

The aliens that came out did indeed have those glass spheres that covered their entire heads in order to protect them from the oxygen of the planet, and they wore gray space suits to protect them from the ozone layer so they wouldn't be affected by the weathers, but everything else that people assumed about what aliens looked like was completely different.

They looked like piranha plants, except they were purple with no spots on them, and their heads were a bit larger and pointier as well. Most of the people took a little while to let their somewhat creepy physical features to sink in but once they did, everyone cheered and clapped since they finally got to see real life aliens.

"My word, I never thought for a split second that I would be able to see aliens before my time has passed! It really feels like I'm in a dream...but...how are we suppose to understand them? I have no doubt that their native tongue is beyond any of our comprehending," Bobbery questioned.

"Oh, you see that big machine over there? The one that Professor E. Gadd is standing next to? I'm pretty sure he'll use that to translate their language into English...oh, how would I love to snatch that thing and keep it in my basement for all eternity!" Ms. Mowz gushed in excitement.

The main alien, the one that came out first, scouted the area and was a bit taken back by how many people arrived to see them. It opened its mouth and made some weird, squeaky, and generic alien-like noises that made everyone give a look of confusion.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? WHAT THE HELL DID HE SAY!?" DK obnoxiously shouted. Diddy bonked him on the head and covered his mouth.

"Ahem! Since I am such a genius with an IQ over 300, I have invented this spectacular machine that will automatically translate the language of the aliens into our language! WATCH AND BE AMAZED!" E. Gadd excitedly shouted and then was seen pressing a few buttons.

"Wow, E. Gadd is incredibly smart! I actually hope that one day I can create an invention as advanced as his ones are, that'd be the ultimate dream!" Goombella cheered.

"Yeah, sure, if you wanna get a big head and be at risk of one of your inventions coming to life and destroying everything possible," Parakarry objected.

A static noise was heard coming from the machine, then a voice came, presumably the voice from the alien that just spoke.

"...WE COME IN PEACE...WE COME IN PEACE..."

The crowd immediately roared and jumped in celebration and happiness. All fears of the aliens being hellbent on obtaining world domination were officially erased.

"Oh yay! This means that I can have one as a pet! This is gonna be soooo much fun!" Peach squealed.

"Um, wow. I am shocked. I did not see that coming at all. Now I guess I can stop having nightmares about aliens being in my closet, watching me while I sleep!" Koops sighed in relief.

"Wooooooooooooooo! I'm so happy that I could kiss everyone for absolutely no reason!" Fire Bro happily shouted, grabbed Vivian, and kissed her on the lips.

The shadow siren shrieked and froze in shock. "Oh...oh my god...I...I am going to soak my lips with as much soap as possible when I get home..."

"Kiss me next! Kiss me next!" Bombette pleaded with a wink.

"Well, I'll be damned! Guess that whole 'destruction of the kingdom and possibly the entire world' thing was just wishful thinking, huh?" Kammy asked.

"Ugh! This is all ruined now! What a waste of our time! Let's just go back home and watch the movie 'Toadsworth's Scheme' again for the hundredth time!" Wendy pouted.

"You heard it here, folks! The aliens have come to our planet in peace and they show no signs of wanting to obliterate us into pieces! This is truly a beautiful moment and I...oh my god, I'm actually crying! Crap, that means my makeup is going to run!" Jojora yelled and ran off screen.

As everyone was cheering at this new revelation, a large butterfly was flying towards the aliens. The main alien caught notice of this and was a bit startled so it took out some type of high-tech looking gun and blasted the butterfly with it, turning it into dust.

This made everyone stop cheering and stare at the scene in shock. Now THAT was definitely something no one saw coming.

"Oh...um...wow...this looks...extremely bad, doesn't it?" Yoshi gulped.

"Noooooo! That poor butterfly! It was so pretty! Why would the aliens hurt such a cute little creature!?" Watt cried.

The main alien then shot another blast out of its gun and hit a random Toad in the crowd, blasting him into dust. The rest of the aliens took out their guns and the crowd began screaming and running for their lives.

"shyt im gettin da fck outta here!" Queen Bee screamed and floated away as quick as she could.

More blasts were shot and more people were being dusted. The military started to shoot at the aliens, but the bullets seemed to have no effect on them.

"Ahhhh! Please move! HELP MEEEEEEEE!" Vivian screamed, being pushed and shoved around by everybody. She eventually fell to the ground and was met with a blast that turned her into a pile of dust.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, VIVIAN!" Goombella screamed at the sight of her best friend being gone forever now.

"Goombella, come on! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" Koopie yelled and pulled her with her to the cars.

"SHIT! WARIO, WHERE ARE THE CAR KEYS!? DO YOU HAVE THEM!?" Waluigi frantically screamed.

"No I don't, I must've dropped them! But forget about it, we'll just hitch a ride with someone else!" Wario replied in panic, but Waluigi didn't hear the last part as he got on the ground and looked to see if he dropped them anyways. He crawled forward a bit and looked up to see one of the blasts head right towards him. It was too late to make a move, or to even let out a scream, as the stickman was blasted into dust right away.

"Oh noooooooooooooooo! Now who am I gonna compare myself to once I get my liposuction done!?" Wario cried and ran off with everyone else.

"I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND I'M HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW!" Ms. Mowz squealed, trying her hardest to push through the chaotic crowd.

Meanwhile, Toad and Toadette were still fighting on the ground, oddly not even paying attention to anything that's happened in the past few minutes. Toadette rolled over onto Toad and put her hand on his throat.

"HA! More proof that you're nothing but a weakling! Don't you ever underestimate me again, brother otherwise I'll post that video of you twerking to Till The World Ends by Toadney Spears on Youtube!" Toadette threatened.

"WHAT!? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT VIDEO!? I mean, uhh...I don't know what you're talking about you loser!" Toad backtracked in fear. Toadette was about to make another harsh response, but she was suddenly laser blasted and her dust spilled all over Toad.

"WOAH! That was so cool! Finally I won't be able to hear her stupid nagging anymore! Oh, I mean...um...ahhhhhhh! Aliens!" Toad screamed when he realized that the you-know-what was actually hitting the fan at that moment and ran away.

"Yowch! Please watch where you're going as it's very unsafe for you to bump into people like that," Kooper said as he was knocked on his shell. He tried to get himself up on his feet but it was a lot more difficult to do it than it looked.

"Um, can someone please help me so I don't die? Anyone? Oh...okay then...I wouldn't help me either too anyways...I understand..." Kooper sighed and was blasted to dust with ease.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD, MARIO COME SAVE ME! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Peach screamed in fear as she was lying on the ground. Mario stood over her with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously Peach? There's no one even around you, and you're perfectly capable of getting up by yourself!" Mario groaned.

"So? You're suppose to save me in every dangerous situation I get into! It's like the law you know!" Peach replied with her arms folded.

"WATCH OUT!" Mario suddenly yelled and lowered the rest of Peach's body to the ground as a laser blast zoomed right by them. Mario picked Peach up and carried her in his arms the rest of the way.

Things were getting just more out of control by the second. The laser blasts not only turned people into dust, but it hit many cars and tanks, exploding and destroying them with ease so fire was spreading as well.

"Wait a second, Birdo! I can be the hero in this situation! I can simply lick up all their laser guns and those things won't have anything to attack with! It's genius!" Yoshi cackled and headed back towards the aliens.

"SERIOUSLY YOSHI!? ARE YOU THAT FREAKING STUPID THAT YOU WANNA GO BACK THERE AND RISK YOUR LIFE JUST TO BE A HERO!? Ugh, I swear if you die, then we are SO over!" Birdo yelled, not realizing how stupid her last sentence sounded.

Yoshi ran to the aliens, actually managing to dodge all their laser blasts. He then made a huge flutter jump and kicked the main alien in the face (well, the glass sphere technically) and knocked him down. He grabbed the laser gun with his tongue and swallowed it.

"HAHAHAHAHA! What you gonna do now, you little twat!? WHO IS YOUR RULER NOW!? HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Yoshi evily laughed but then stopped when he felt something very odd in his stomach. He looked down to see that his stomach was slowly starting to disintegrate from the inside out and it started to spread.

"Oh crap...I think I accidentally pressed the trigger on that thing with my tongue...I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO DIE THIS EARLY!" The dinosaur screamed for mercy and the rest of his body disintegrated into dust.

Meanwhile, the koopa family was witnessing all of this in awe.

"Wooooaaahhhh...zat was totally awesome! Did you guys see the way everyone trampled all over each other? Pahahahaha! Zat was classic! I am so glad ze aliens actually turned out to be psychopaths instead of a bunch of goody-goody two shoes!" Ludwig laughed.

"Yeah, that was...um...definitely worth the wait...I guess. I really thought they were nice beings but then they just did that...and...um...what do you think, dad?" Wendy said with a freaked out expression.

Bowser stared at the scene below him for the longest time. The area was now abandoned and the aliens were seen heading back into their UFO. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt scared...and even a bit pissed off. He didn't realize how terrifying an alien invasion would be until he actually saw a preview of it for himself.

"Let's get out of here. NOW," the koopa king demanded and hopped back in the clown car.

"B-Bowser? Are you okay? About what happened...it didn't terrify you...did it?" Kammy asked in concern.

"I SAID LET'S GO ALREADY!" Bowser screamed, making the other three jump. They quickly hopped on in and zoomed out of there.

EOC.

Yeah, there's going to be quite a few deaths in each chapter, but that's what happens when you have an enormous cast, heh. Next chapter will have the main characters regrouping at the castle, discussing what they should do about this new problem and have them attempt to make peace with the aliens again.

Also, sorry for the late updates...this week has been a disaster for me and it's been making me careless and moody with everything lately. Mushroom Wars will be updated in a few days and MPD will be updated like a week afterwards.

And one more thing, there's a new poll in my profile that I would like you all to vote on, as it concerns the next season of Mario Party Deluxe.


	3. Dusty Hall

**Characters: Mario Luigi Peach Daisy Pauline Rosalina Birdo Toad Dixie Diddy DK Wario Goombario Bombette Parakarry Bow Watt Lakilester Lakilulu Goombella Koops Koopie Flurrie Paper-Yoshi Bobbery Ms. Mowz Bowser Kammy Ludwig Wendy Toadsworth Jojora Toodles Queen Bee Fire Bro Mona**

All of the remaining characters, except for Mario, returned to Peach's castle and tried to figure out how the hell they're gonna deal with this new problem.

"You guys saw all that, right!? The way those aliens blew up all those cars and machines and turned everybody into a pile of dust!? That was completely radical! I am so pissed off that I didn't record the whole thing!" Fire Bro grunted.

"It was the OPPOSITE of radical, you idiot! Now how are we suppose to kill those bitches, knowing that they're probably gonna come back and take the rest of the population down?" Pauline asked.

"W-why are you all looking at me for!? STOP MAKING ME NERVOUS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Peach cried, even though no one was actually looking at her.

"Uhh...anyways, we're gonna have to leave it up to the military to deal with this one as they have the most powerful weapons that will certainly destroy the aliens in an instant," Diddy answered.

"Oh, of course, the military! They should certainly have no problems in defeating those troublemakers! I have the upmost faith that no one else is going to die!" Toadsworth proudly said. Everyone gasped at him yet again.

"Can you shut your fat mouth for once, Toadsworth, and quit trying to jinx the entire world? God, you are delusional!" Birdo angrily yelled.

"Yeah! Your time on this planet is up anyways so someone needs to 'off' you real quick so everyone will be safe!" Lakilulu annoyingly added.

"Lakilulu, what the hell are you and your boyfriend even doing here, anyways? No one likes you! Quit trying to be a part of the 'in' crowd!" Wario spat.

"I have an idea! Why don't you two lovers go and try to fight the aliens!? I have the upmost faith that you'll succeed in defeating them all and saving the world!" Toad laughed, mocking Toadsworth.

"I have a better idea, why don't you go shove that wine bottle on the table up your ass and join your sister in the hereafter?" Lakilester barked right back.

"Why does everyone want my wine bottles!? Get your own! They're only 200 coins so they aren't that expensive!" Peach shrieked.

"Do you even realize how stupid some of the stuff you say is? I mean, really, I don't think I've ever met someone so empty minded before," Wendy asked with a blank expression.

"Do you guys think the aliens will let us drive their UFO's into outer space? That would be amazing, wouldn't it!?" Watt cheered.

"...No comment..." Wendy remarked.

"And speaking of random people being here, Bowser, why are you, your kids, and your witch pal here? Shouldn't you be in your castle, throwing a party over the fact that the world is officially very freaking doomed?" Daisy asked.

"Yes, I SHOULD be doing that right now and inviting a bunch celebrities to said party such as Zip Toad, Lady Sasa, Toadney Spears, Toadina Aguilera, and Toadena Gomez, but...I feel like I should help. If the aliens are going to destroy the world, then I'm likely going to be in it so I want to help stop that, as much as it makes me cringe," Bowser admitted.

"Basically, we're fighting by your guys' side until this alien mess is done with. After that, we go back to being sworn enemies and kidnapping Princess Peach four days a week!" Kammy concluded.

"You've got a deal! You know it's such a heartwarming moment when the villains have to team up with the heroes!" Bombette sobbed in happiness.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. So that's the plan, then? Wait for the military to bomb the crap out of those guys, IF they even succeed at that? Did you guys not see some of those tanks at the desert blow up by their laser guns?" Jojora asked, not confident about the plan.

"She's right, we're gonna need a better method at getting rid of them. From what I've researched and read about aliens, the only way to kill them, besides blowing them to smithereens of course, is by the oxygen of this planet as they're unable to breathe in it," Goombario deduced.

"But using that method means having us to literally get close to the aliens and steal those fishbowls off of them. No thanks! Well, not to the stealing part at least," Ms. Mowz objected.

"PROFESSOR E. GADD!" Koopie randomly blurted.

"Huh?" everyone else replied in confusion.

"Professor Elvin Gadd! You all saw that translation machine he built for the aliens in the desert, right? Plus, he is known to be a genius with an extremely high IQ too, right!? What if he ask him and see if he can come up with a tool that will destroy the aliens and possibly protect ourselves from their blasts?" Koopie suggested.

"Yeah...yeah! You're right! If E. Gadd made that machine that could translate the alien language, then he most certainly can make a high-tech weapon that will wipe the aliens out, probably something better than what the military has!" Parakarry replied.

"Could we also ask E. Gadd if he has any wine or beer because I am so goddamn thirsty for more alcohol! AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE ME BECOME DESPERATE FOR IT!" DK raged, grabbed a chair, and threw it at the wall.

"omg dk u r so sexi wen u r angry can u come 2 my place tonite so we can hve sum 'fun' pls," Queen Bee drooled and fanned herself.

"Huh? But I thought you were in love with Bobbery, my queen!? PLEASE DON'T BECOME A WHORE!" Flurrie cried.

"Yes, that's perfect actually! We could, like, go over there right now and ask him to create this highly advanced weapon beyond our thinking which should definitely not take long at all to make! After that, we'll use the weapon to obliterate the aliens and peace will return on the planet! Well, until the next World War happens that is," Goombella cheered.

"Are you guys forgetting ze fact zat E. Gadd's machine translated ze alien's speaking as 'WE COME IN PEACE' even zough zere was clearly no peace at all in zat massacre?" Ludwig reminded.

"Are you suggesting that his machine may have translated the alien's language wrong?" Paper-Yoshi questioned.

"Zat's exactly what I am saying. After what happened, I'm not so sure if E. Gadd could come up with a fool-proof weapon that will destroy ze creatures," Ludwig answered.

"Well...so what? He's the only person we can think of that can give us some kind of solution for this, so that's what we're going with! Well, maybe not the ONLY person, but who knows, right!? WHO KNOWS!?" Mona yelled.

"SHUT UP! God, I need to squeeze that crap out of my stress reliever ball before I smack one of you idiots upside the head! Dixie, go to my car and get me the blue squishy ball that's in the glove compartment!" Bow angrily demanded.

"O-of course! I'll get it this instant! Please don't have a mental breakdown!" Dixie shrieked and ran outside.

"So, what's the official plan then? Is it to let the military handle all of this or go to E. Gadd and see if he can invent some supreme weapon?" Bobbery asked.

"It's going to be the second one, my dear. If it has to come down to it, I'll provide the money to help for the weapon, because you know me, my extravagant wealth can not only take care of anything but also attract the finest of men towards me," Toodles answered and then winked.

"Pahahahaha! That's the best joke I've heard all day!" Jojora laughed at the gold digger's ridiculousness.

Mario came running in, sweating like crazy as if he was in panic.

"You guys, turn on the tv and turn to the news NOW!" He demanded.

"THERE YOU ARE! I WAS GETTING WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! DON'T YOU EVER LEAVE US LIKE THAT AGAIN YOU BASTARD OR ELSE I'M GOING TO BURN ALL OF MY MARIO DRAWINGS AND PAINTINGS!" Sushie screamed for no reason.

"You seriously need to see a therapist, Sushie. Or better yet, go see one in a mental hospital," Parakarry rolled his eyes.

Luigi turned on the TV and flipped to the news.

"This is Toadana Melton reporting for Channel 64 News. An incident at Dry Dry Desert occurred not too long where the aliens had landed on our planet. Everyone else had hopes of interacting with the aliens and even possibly co-existing with them as it without a doubt would be a remarkable, but alas, it seems like the aliens had other plans in mind. The aliens had, out of nowhere, blasted the crowded and killed dozens of people, along with some military officials, and news reporters. Survivors are beyond upset at this as family members and friends were killed in the massacre and it would be an understatement to say that this event has shaken the entire world. People are now wondering that, in light of this terrifying event, what is going to happen now that we know the aliens are not here to make peace, despite what those liars told us. Here is a statement from Mayor Toady McToaderson at City Hall about this issue," The reporter described and it cut to a young-looking Toad at City Hall with photographers and interviewers all around him.

"Wassup y'all? I understand that what happened at Dry Dry Desert may have scared the living holy ghost out of y'all but fear not, for I believe that there may have been a misunderstanding between the aliens and us! We obviously didn't make ourselves clearer to the aliens about how we wanted to be their friends and not their foes which is why they attacked us! I'm sure it has nothing to do with them secretly wanting to take over our planet at all so which is why, I'm inviting the aliens over here at City Hall tomorrow around 5 o'clock to clear the air and hopefully make actual peace with them so all of this can get past us. So, if you have any questions, ask them now because I'm late for a hot date with this blonde stripper...I mean, uhh, blonde...BYE!" The mayor dashed out of there in panic while the interviewers and reporters loudly talked amongst themselves.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS GOING TO LEAD TO MORE LASER GUN DEATHS! THAT SON OF A BITCH IS TRYING TO GET ALL OF US KILLED!" Sushie exploded in rage and threw one of the chairs at TV, smashing the entire screen.

"Eh, that TV was starting to get old anyways," Peach shrugged.

"B-b-b-but that's too risky though! If the aliens come there and do another massacre, more people are going to die!" Koops freaked out.

"Yeah, what the hell is up with that mayor dude? Isn't he a little too young to be a mayor anyways? There were also rumors of him being a meth addict. I guess they were true!" Luigi sighed.

"Tomorrow at 5 o'clock...that's when we all need to be at graduation! The rest of you guys have to go over there tomorrow and stop this thing from happening! Or at least, watch the event from afar and see what will happen!" Paper-Yoshi said.

"That's what we're gonna have to do. The mayor is seriously delusional if he actually thinks that the aliens aren't going to pull off the same crap again like they did before. Does anyone know when the next election is?" Mario asked.

* * *

A day has passed and it was now approaching 5 o'clock. Everyone's nerves were rising once again as they were truly fearing that the aliens were going to do another 'laser gun massacre'. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Pauline, Birdo, Toad, DK, Diddy, Dixie, Wario, Fire Bro, Mona, Toadsworth, Bowser, Kammy, Wendy, Ludwig, Jojora, and Toodles attended the event at city hall while everyone else was at the graduation ceremony. The characters were all situated on the second floor balcony in the main room, overlooking the area as many government and city hall members/employees sat on the main floor on those courthouse-like chairs.

"Ugh, this is completely boring. When are the aliens suppose to arrive again?" Wario groaned, eating some hot cheetos.

"We literally JUST got here a minute ago, Wario. And stop eating that crap! It will be pointless for me to pay for the liposuction if all you're gonna do is continue eating junk food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner anyways!" Daisy yelled.

"I'm so glad that Bow isn't here to boss me around. She seriously freaks me out!" Dixie said.

"Yeah, why DO you let her control you anyways!? That ghost bitch is no match for you since you're a lot tougher and sexier than she is. She probably treats all her servants like that at her home, even when she was alive!" Diddy exclaimed.

"You know what? You're right! I can't let people control me! I am not weak! I am a fighter! I AM A WARRIOR!" Dixie proudly declared.

"DIXIE, SHUT THE HELL UP AND FIND ME ANOTHER BEER BOTTLE! I'M ALL OUT AND I JUST KNOW THAT THESE GOVERNMENT ASSHOLES HAVE SOME STORED AWAY IN SOME SECRET PASSAGEWAY!" DK roared.

"Yes sir! I'll be right back!" Dixie answered and ran into the hallway while Diddy smacked his forehead.

"Can you stop breathing on my neck!? It's extremely creepy and I don't want your fairy germs anywhere on my skin!" Wendy pouted.

"Well in case you haven't noticed, Lips McGee, there is little space on this balcony so just deal with it and turn around so I don't have to stare at your mutant face any longer!" Jojora retorted.

"Hey Rosalina, what do you say we skip out of here and find somewhere to private to 'fool around' for a little bit?" Luigi asked with a nudge.

"You still haven't told Daisy yet, have you? Luigi...I'm really not so sure if this is right anymore..." Rosalina sighed in guiltyness.

"Why not? She's been making my life a living hell for the past few months and I can't take it anymore! I just want some freedom...and I'll tell her once this whole alien crap blows over!" Luigi raised his voice.

"...Alright then. I understand. Come on," Rosalina smiled and the two quietly walked off.

However, Fire Bro heard EVERYTHING. "What? How can this be happening!? That is so OOC of Luigi and Rosalina to do that to poor Daisy! LUAISY FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Fire Bro shouted, drawing attention to himself.

"Can you shut your fat mouth!? The aliens are arriving any second now!" Birdo yelled.

Fire Bro yelped and dragged Daisy away from the balcony. "Daisy, I have some bad news to tell you and trust me when I say that it's very BAD!"

"Um...you don't need to emphasize on its badness if you're already telling me it's bad news. Anyways, continue," Daisy gave him a blank stare.

"Luigi is cheating on you for Rosalina! Rosuigi or Luisalina shouldn't EVER happen for as long as the Mario franchise exists!" Fire Bro said.

"...I know he's cheating on me. I've known for a while now," Daisy revealed. Fire Bro dropped his jaw to the floor.

"WHAT!? But if you know he's cheating on you then why are you still with him!? IT MAKES NO SENSE! WHY!? WHYYYYYYY!?" Fire Bro started to sob.

"Because I-"

"WHY!?"

"...BECAUSE! I don't want to end it with him...we've been with each other for so long that I just...can't imagine myself without him...but that makes me kind of a hypocrite because I've been treating him like dirt recently for no reason...I think it's possible that we've just fallen out of love..." Daisy sighed.

"Awww...I'm so sorry to hear that! But don't worry, there are other good guys out there for you like DK! I mean, come on, who can resist those burly muscles, that masculine face, and that toned jaw!? Eeeeeeeee!" Fire Bro suddenly got excited.

"No, it's fine. I'm gonna tell it to him after this alien crap is overwith. But thank you though...it means a lot..." Daisy gave a sad smile and went back to the balcony.

The big doors opened and in came the aliens. The people on the main floor stood up out of respect for them. The leader alien from before was seen leading four other aliens to the front.

"Oh boy...here we go...Kammy, get your wand out. We're gonna need to blow those bastards up as soon as they get their laser guns out," Bowser warned and Kammy nodded immediately.

"Welcome dudes! So glad you could make it back! Please sit at this chair! And don't worry, I made sure it won't break no matter how you sit on it!" The mayor said.

"Oh my gosh! Did he just call the aliens fat!?" Peach gasped.

Professor E. Gadd was there again with the translator machine, ready for the aliens to start speaking. The alien leader got up on the main chair and looked out to the entire room of workers and officials, who all were secretly nervous for what they could do now.

"So, aliens...we just wanted to tell you that despite what happened yesterday, we mean no harm whatsoever! There is no need to be afraid of us! Unless you come across a long haired brunette named Pauline, THEN you can be scared because she's the biggest whore the entire city has ever known!" The mayor assured.

"HEY! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW!" Pauline angrily called out.

The leader alien tapped on the microphone and spoke some unintelligible words which made everyone look to E. Gadd for translation. The professor pressed a few buttons and the words in English.

"WE COME IN PEACE! WE MEAN NO HARM!"

Everyone in the room immediately cheered and got a sudden feeling of relief right after he said that. The only people that weren't cheering were the Mario characters, since they weren't buying it...except for Toadsworth.

"Jolly good show! They don't want to hurt us after all! I guess this means that we can expect no one else to die now!" The old toad exclaimed.

"Okay, can someone tie this bastard down and tape his mouth shut for all eternity?" Toad asked in frustration.

"Oh, I'll be glad to do it, darling. Except I prefer to use handcuffs to hold someone down and taping someone's mouth shut is no fun at all," Toodles winked flirtaciously.

As everyone was still cheering, the leader alien got out an even bigger laser gun than before and let out a huge blast all over the room that dusted half of the people in the room. The remaining half stopped their cheering and started screaming and tried to run for their lives out of there.

"WHAAAAAAAT!? BUT THEY SAID THEY CAME IN PEACE AGAIN THOUGH! THEY ARE SOOOOO PSYCHO!" Mona shrieked.

"KAMMY, NOW!" Bowser let out the command and Kammy shot a blast of blue magic towards the aliens. The magic hit the alien leader and threw him against the wall, cracking his headgear. The other aliens saw this, got out their guns, and blasted the balcony.

"OH SHIT! RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RAN BEFOOOOOOOOOORE!" Ludwig screeched. Due to the blasts, the balcony collapsed from the wall and Kammy, Mario, Peach, Pauline, DK, Wario, Mona, and Fire Bro all fell down with it to the ground.

"YOOOOOW! I THINK MY FAT ASS LANDED ON A PIECE OF THE BALCONY!" Wario cried.

"Oh crap! Where's my wand!?" Kammy yelled in panic and started looking for it everywhere but then saw one of the aliens heading straight for her. Kammy could not do a thing to escape as she was already hurt and had little strength to move around in the first place. The alien blasted her just like that into dust.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mario screamed and kicked the alien to the ground. He then started to bash the headgear repeatedly against one of the chairs, cracking it more and more until the thing completely shattered and the alien was exposed to the oxygen. The alien started to make choking noises and stumbled around for a bit until it fell to the ground and eventually stopped moving.

"MARIO, LOOK OUT!" Pauline yelled and shoved Mario to the ground as a laser blast just went past him.

"Hey, I totally could've done THAT!" Peach grunted.

"Ugh...hey! My hair is all messy and dirty now! DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO STYLE IT AND MAKE IT LOOK PRETTY!?" Mona roared. She then grabbed a small piece from the broken balcony and threw it at one of the aliens, who was about to shoot another blast at them. The piece hit the alien's glass headpiece and made him drop his laser gun in surprise.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh! What the hell is going on!? Did Dixie bring me back my beer bottle yet!?" DK yelled, struggling to get himself up.

"We've got more important issues to deal with than getting your beer, oh marvelous one!" Fire Bro said and dragged him away to the next room over while everyone else followed him.

"Woah woah WOAH! This is not cool, man! This is the opposite of cool! I thought you wanted to be friends!? How could you deceive us like this!? MAN, THIS SUCKS! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GO ON THE DATE WITH THAT STRIPPER SINCE SHE STOOD ME UP FOR SOME GUY NAMED PEASLEY!" Mayor Toady McToaderson cried and backed away from all the aliens until two of them cornered him and blasted him till he was nothing.

The others that managed to escape the balcony disaster ran into a few rooms then down a stairwell as they saw people screaming and looking for a place to hide or for an escape.

"We need to find the others and get the hell out of here before this entire place becomes DUST Hall! Ha, get it? Dusty Hall? Becomes the laser blasts can turn you into dust and this place is...ah forget it," Toad scowled as he and the rest came down to the main hallway and ran into Dixie.

"Oh, hey you guys! Look, I found DK's beer bottle! Yeah, I accidentally knocked a painting to the floor while running which revealed a button that was behind it so I pressed it and a secret passageway suddenly opened into the wall, which led to a winery basement! Let's hurry and go down there before any catches up and steal all the wine so we'll be set for life! And I'm assuming that everyone's running and screaming because the stupid aliens attacked again, right?" Dixie guessed. Before anyone could answer, a laser blast hit the monkey girl, dusting her in front of anyone.

"WHAT!? DIXIE! NO! YOU BASTAAAAAAAAAAARDS!" Diddy became enraged and charged after the nearest alien that killed her.

"Diddy, stop! You're gonna get yourself killed!" Birdo shouted.

"UGH! Where is Rosalina and her magical powers of freakiness when you need her!?" Jojora cried.

Right after she said that, as if on cue, Rosalina and Luigi came out of a closet, their hair and clothes all messy.

"Did someone call my name? What's with all the screaming?" Rosalina asked.

"Oh, well isn't this just perfect? While you two idiots were busy making out, the aliens have struck again and are killing everyone they can!" Daisy yelled. Luigi and Rosalina looked at her then at each other in shock.

"Daisy, I...wait...BEHIND YOU!" Luigi shrieked.

The princess turned around and was met with a glimpse of a blast to the face which dusted her entire body in an instant.

"D-Daisy...no...how could...this...happen..." Luigi was now petrified by what he had seen and couldn't even move himself.

"TAKE THIS!" Rosalina yelled and thrusted her arms forward as if she was pushing someone and the alien suddenly flew backwards many feet.

Meanwhile, Diddy was ferociously beating on the alien that killed his girlfriend, cracking his glass piece bit by bit. Bowser pushed Diddy off the alien and smashed the alien's head open with his foot. Everyone tried not to throw up at the gory sight.

"EWWWWW! ALIEN JUICE!" Wendy gagged.

"Aww crap, now it's gonna take me forever to get the glass pieces out of my foot! Also, why does it feel like I've also killed something or someone with my foot before?" Bowser wondered out loud.

Mario, Pauline, Peach, Mona, DK, Fire Bro, and Wario came in from the main room.

"You guys, we need to get out of here NOW! They're blowing the place apart!" Pauline yelled.

"Where the hell are we gonna go though!? I think it's safe to say that those aliens are officially out on the kill and that no place is safe now!" Birdo said.

"We're going to E. Gadd's place. I saw him run off into another exit but we weren't able to catch up to him in time. I'm assuming he's heading back to his place so that's where we're heading. He's the only person who actually has a chance of defeating these guys easily! Plus, he may have some underground place where we can hide out at!" Mario explained.

"I DON'T CARE WHERE WE GO JUST AS LONG AS WE GET OUT OF THIS SCI-FI DISASTER!" Toad screamed and then a laser blast hit the wall right where everyone else was at. They all screamed and ran for their lives.

"Wait, Mario! Where is Kammy at? She didn't..." Bowser too afraid to continue his words.

"I'm sorry Bowser...but she didn't make it...they caught us off guard..." Mario sadly admitted.

Bowser looked sad but he kept on running anyways. Now was not the time to be upset and crying over these things.

EOC.

Next chapter is when the graduation for the Paper Mario characters happens, which definitely means nothing bad is going to happen there! ;) Mushroom Wars will be updated in a few days.


	4. Graduation Day

**Characters: Mario Luigi Peach Pauline Rosalina Birdo Toad Diddy DK Wario Goombario Bombette Parakarry Bow Watt Lakilester Lakilulu Goombella Koops Koopie Flurrie Paper-Yoshi Bobbery Ms. Mowz Bowser Ludwig Wendy Toadsworth Jojora Toodles Queen Bee Fire Bro Mona**

The graduation ceremony was just about to start as all the students, staff, and family members took their respective seats on the school football field.

"Guess what, Goombella? I received all B's in my classes! And you thought that I would fail just because I was stuck in my room for a whole week, going through some obsession phase with the aliens like some anti-social loser!" Goombario laughed.

"I never said that you were going to fail, I was just concerned because you were missing school a lot! Sheesh! Excuse me for having a heart!" Goombella yelled.

"Can you two just makeout already? It's obvious that there's some intense chemistry going on with you guys," Bombette interrupted.

"Ugh, why the hell is this bitch from the grave seated right next to me? I'm so glad I'll be out of high school from this point on so I don't have to see you and all the other teenyboppers' rat faces every damn day," Lakilester scowled.

"Excuse me!? Do you know who the FUCK you're talking to, you enormous douchebag!? I am Lady Bow, the freaking queen of the dead and I could rally up all the boos and ghosts and demons that I know and haunt your ass to make your life a living hell until the day you die! God, I wish the aliens would come over here just so they can kill you and your hoochie of a girlfriend!" Bow roared, proving her status as the Head Bitch In Charge.

"I am not a hoochie! AND WHY DO YOU HAVE TO INCLUDE ME IN THAT SENTENCE!? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! YOU GUYS ARE SO PRETENTIOUS!" Lakilulu screamed.

"Pot calling the kettle black," Parakarry commented.

"WHEN THE HELL IS THIS GRADUATION CEREMONY GONNA START!? I WANNA GRADUATE SO I CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS DUMP AND MOVE TO ROGUEPORT SO I CAN JOIN THAT STUPID MAFIA AND BECOME THE FIRST EVER CHEEP CHEEP MAFIA LEADER IN HISTORY!" Sushie screamed.

"Wait a second...we're graduating!? Oh my gosh, that is so cool! I can't believe I passed all of my classes!" Watt cheered.

"Neither can the rest of us," Koopie scowled.

"Of course we're graduating, dearie, why else would we be out here wearing these glorious shiny blue uniforms for?" Flurrie asked.

"Um...you're not even wearing the graduation gown and cap, Flurrie. What gives?" Koops asked.

"Oh, I was simply unable to fit in the darn thing so I told the staff about it and they said it was okay if I went without it and then they proceeded to laugh at me for some reason that I can't explain," Flurrie explained, too dumb to notice the actual reason they were laughing at her.

"Of course! The gowns are only meant to fit people that actually don't weigh 1000 pounds, Flurrie. Ugh, I am so parched, since Dixie isn't here...Koops! Go buy me some Lemonade from the stand over there by the gym," Bow demanded.

"Do NOT listen to her, Koops! If she wants Lemonade that bad, then she can just as easily get off her ghostly ass and float over there," Koopie intervened.

"No need to even do that! Take one of mine, I stole a bunch from the stand while the sellers weren't looking! Hehe, I also stole some chick's Smartphone, her boyfriend is going to be boiling mad tonight!" Ms. Mowz snickered as she started texting on the phone.

"I wonder how Mario and the gang are doing at City Hall with the aliens...I really hope they're all okay and nothing disastrous happened," Paper-Yoshi said.

"I just texted Luigi a few minutes ago but I haven't heard anything back yet. I guess we shall find out if the earth is officially very doomed when he replies," Parakarry said.

"wat u have luigi's numba? if u also got dk's numba den give it 2 me rite nao cuz i wana call dat sexi beast und drive ova 2 his place so we can git down f ya knw wat i mean," Queen Bee said in excitement.

"NO! YOU MUSTN'T GO FOR THAT RAVAGING HUNK OF AN APE! YOU MUST STAY WITH BOBBERY AS HE IS YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE! PLUS, DK IS A RAGING ALCOHOLIC SO HE WILL BEAT THE SNOT OUT OF YOU WHEN HE GETS WASTED, WHICH IS EVERYDAY!" Flurrie cried in worry.

"bich fck off im so fcking tired of u commentin on everyting i say und followin me round everywhere und shit. go bak 2 being a 2nd rate celbrity and sleepin wit a bunch of direktors fo da main rols," The bee spat and was ready to take this lesser being out any second now.

"She's got a point, Flurrie. The fact that you got held back three times just to stalk Queen Bee around is super creepy and pretentious!" Lakilulu spoke.

"scuse me bich did i ask fo a defense from u? do u even knw wat pretentious mean? i swer i wana drag dis bich so hard but i cant cuz of da stupd law und i hve a criminal recerd. #Ain'tGonnaFoolMeTwice," Queen Bee sighed, sad that she can't beat the annoying lakitu to the ground.

"It's starting now! I can't believe I'm actually leaving high school after all these years...I'm never gonna miss it!" Koops said.

Bobbery went up to the podium, cleared his voice, and spoke. "Good evening students, staff, parents, friends, monsters, etc. Welcome to the graduation ceremony of the Mushroom Kingdom High Class of 2014. It has been a fantastic 4 years, going through this journey with you all. I have seen many of you go through numerous ups and downs but that's just a part of only not just high school but life as well, no? The road ahead is very..." He continued on with his speech while others were becoming bored.

"Ugh can we just get on to getting our diplomas already? We've all seen and heard this crap in plenty of Hollywood movies that have to do with high school," Goombario said.

"Not to mention the fact that it's hot as hell out here plus I'm getting some Burger Queen after this. Anyone wanna join?" Paper-Yoshi asked.

"You do realize that crap contains like 20,000 calories right? You'd have to be a moron to eat that disgusting, unhealthy junk!" Bombette gagged.

"Oh I totally wanna go! Since I haven't had anything to eat all day, I am so getting a Big Mac!" Watt happily agreed to go.

"He said he was going to BURGER QUEEN not McToads, you hearing-impaired cow. How were you able to graduate again?" Koopie yelled who was getting more pissed off by this chick by the second.

"Please calm down, Koopie...we don't want a fight to happen on the best day of our lives!" Koops warned.

"So are you implying that the first day we met wasn't the best day of our lives?" Koopie questioned with a glare.

"U-um I-I didn't m-mean it like...um...err..." Koops sweatdropped and was unable to answer.

"SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY KOOPIE! EVERYTIME YOU SPEAK, I WANT TO SHOVE SCREWDRIVERS IN MY EARS!" Sushie screamed.

"I'd be more than happy to do that for you!" Lakilester smirked.

"...so to conclude this unnecessarily long speech, I am going to let the Mushroom Kingdom High band play a graduation song that's definitely going to be just as long as my speech before we hand out the diplomas," Bobbery said and the band got up and played some forgettable yet emotional tune.

"Ah! Luigi texted me back! He said that the aliens attacked again at City Hall and Dixie, Kammy, and Daisy were killed! He also said that once the graduation ceremony is done, to head over to E. Gadd's place on 777 Unlucky Street because that's where they're going to find E. Gadd to see if he can find a solution to getting rid of the aliens," Parakarry read the text outloud.

"Oh no not again! What are the chances of the aliens escaping from there and heading into the city to blast the crap out of it!?" Bombette asked.

"I'd say it's extremely high, in fact, it's so high that even Jesus Christ cannot comprehend it," Goombario answered.

"What on earth are you talking about? I'm sure Queen Bee can understand anything in the world because she is ***FLAWLESS!" Flurrie complimented.

"Flurrie, I'm afraid you're gonna have to shut your mouth unless you want me to start stealing all your makeup kits from your house," Ms. Mowz threatened.

"Oh god please don't, we're already dealing with the aliens, we don't need another nightmare coming our way!" Paper-Yoshi cringed at the thought of Flurrie having no makeup on.

The band ended their playing and everyone gave them a round of applause. Bobbery walked up to the podium again. "Thank you for that wondrous musical piece! Now for the part you've all been waiting for...the diplomas. These diplomas represent the key to the path that leads into a whole new world. Keep it with you and cherish it always so you can look back on this moment and say-"

"OH JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY! YOU'RE BORING ME TO DEATH!" Lakilester rudely interrupted.

Bobbery frustratingly sighed and pursed his lips. "Fine then. Our first student to receive a diploma is Lakilulu Annoyang."

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled the audience and threw a bunch of stuff at her.

"FUCK YOU ALL! YOU GUYS ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES FOR TRYING TO RUIN THIS UNDERAPPRECIATED GIRL'S HAPPY DAY!" Lakilulu angrily retorted and tried to dodge the incoming objects as she went up to receive her diploma. Right after she got it, a bicycle was thrown at her head, knocking her out instantly.

"Excellent! Got it all on tape! One million views on Youtube, here I come!" Bombette snickered.

"Um, anyways, next is...MY GOODNESS! ARE THOSE THE ALIENS!?" Bobbery suddenly shrieked and pointed towards the sky behind everyone. They all turned around and screamed when they saw two UFOs coming right towards them.

"Oh my god, I can't believe they would actually come here! EVERYONE, RUN LIKE A MADMAN!" Goombella screamed. Everyone scrambled trying to get out of there as laser blasts shot out from a cannon that was attached to the UFO's and blasted both the ground and some people.

"KOOPS, WATCH OUT!" Koopie screeched and pushed Koops out of the way of an incoming laser that just barely missed him.

"GOOD GRIEF! What are we to do, my queen!? Should we attempt to make contact with the aliens and beg them to stop trying to kill us in exchange for a billion coins!?" Flurrie panicked.

"bich y da fuck r u askin me for i dunno shit wat 2 do godamn can da alens kill dis ho alredy," Queen Bee scowled.

"We must get to E. Gadd's place because that's where Mario and the others are going! It's the best shot at surviving this mess!" Paper-Yoshi answered. A laser came right towards them and blasted them some feet away, luckily not killing them though.

"I AIN'T SCARED OF THESE WIMPY ALIENS! AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT THEM AND HAVING THESE LOSERS THINK THEY CAME JUST COME ON TO MY PLANET AND DESTROY WHATEVER THEY WANT!" Lakilester roared and flew towards the UFO's.

"YOUR planet? Thank you for confirming to me that not only are you a douchebag, but you're also delusional!" Bow shouted and turned invisible right as a laser shot at her.

"TAKE THIS, SLIME BITCHES!" Lakilester yelled and started throwing his spiny balls at the UFO's, which were barely making any dents on them. The two UFO's locked on to the dumb lakitu, and blasted him at the exact same time, creating a bigger dust mess than usual.

"Oh look you guys, it's snowing! I thought it was summer, though?" Watt questioned as the dust sprinkled down all over the place.

"Come on Watt, we need to go, like, NOW!" Parakarry yelled, grabbed Watt, and dragged her with him away from the scene.

"Hey! I'm the only one who's suppose to use 'like' out of context in a sentence!" Goombella gasped as she and Goombario were running out of there, holding each other close.

"SHIT, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE COMING!" Goombario screamed and let go of Goombella as a laser come towards them. The two got out of the way just as it came right between the middle of them. Goombario stared in shock at the huge hole that the laser blast made. He didn't realize how close he was to getting by...THAT, and how powerful the pain must be if he did get hit, or would it just be an instant death and there would be no pain?

"GOOMBARIO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? GET OVER HERE NOW!?" Goombella cried from afar, trying to get herself up.

The braniac snapped out of it and out of the corner of his eyes, saw another laser coming straight for him. He froze in fear, which caused the death of him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Goombella screamed for an unnecessary long time.

"Okay, now that's just being overdramatic, lassie! Come on!" Bobbery said and dragged the goomba gal out of there.

"Ahhhhh!" Koopie yelled, tripping over her graduation uniform and faceplanting in the grass.

"K-Koopie! Are you alright!?" Koops asked from a few feet away who hadn't immediately noticed she fell.

"UGH! WHY DO THEY MAKE THESE STUPID UNIFORMS SO LONG!?" Koopie growled in frustration and tried to get herself up, but not before a laser blasted her and the super long uniform into dust.

Koops dropped his jaw at the horror he just saw. "Oh my god...no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND RUN ALREADY!" Sushie screamed and tugged on Koops to run with her and the others.

Lakilulu woke up from her unconscious state and shrieked when she saw people running and screaming for their lives as two UFO's were hovering above the area and blasting everyone they could.

"Oh my god! This is completely terrifying! Wait a second...where did the Paper Crew go!? They just left me here to die!? THAT'S EVEN MORE TERRIFYING! WAIT UP, YOU GUYS!" Lakilulu cried and attempted to catch up with them.

EOC.

Next chapter will have the two groups come together at E. Gadd's place and try to find a solution to this problem, but of course, they face trouble there as well. Mushroom Wars will be updated in a few days and Mario Party Deluxe a few more afterwards. Also, I'm not sure if any of you noticed, but I actually seem to enjoy writing about the Paper Mario partners more than the main cast. I'm not really sure why, I guess it's because they seem more 'fresh' if that makes any sense lol.


	5. Out of Character

**Characters: Mario Luigi Peach Pauline Rosalina Birdo Toad Diddy DK Wario Bombette Parakarry Bow Watt Lakilulu Goombella Koops Flurrie Paper-Yoshi Bobbery Ms. Mowz Bowser Ludwig Wendy Toadsworth Jojora Toodles Queen Bee Fire Bro Mona**

Mario's group ran out towards the country, successfully managing to evade the aliens that were now attacking the city.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! DIXIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN MEEEEEEEEE!? WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Diddy cried very loudly.

"Can you shut your gigantic trap already!? I know that your girlfriend is dead, but move on already! Her hair wasn't even that pretty!" Wendy yelled.

"Yeah because having a loved one who you've been with for many years is just so easy to get over right after their death, amirite?" Birdo asked with sarcasm.

"Mario, hurry up! You're slowing the group down! I thought you were the fastest and strongest out of everyone here? You're a hero, aren't you?" Bowser called out with laughing.

Mario angrily huffed. "SERIOUSLY NOW!? I'M CARRYING FREAKING DK, TOAD AND WARIO ON MY SHOULDERS ALL BECAUSE ONE OF THEM IS TOO WASTED TO RUN, ONE OF THEM IS TOO FAT TO RUN, AND THE OTHER ONE IS JUST TOO LAZY TO RUN! NOW I KNOW HOW YOSHI FEELS!"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME FAT!? I WORK OUT EVERY GODDAMN DAY SO I CAN BE A SUPER MODEL AND GAIN SOME HEALTH POINTS OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT! YOU PEOPLE ARE SUPERFICIAAAAAAAAAAAL!" DK roared, completely out of it.

"Uhh he was calling Wario fat, not you. But anyways, Mario, yes, that's right! You must know how it feels when Yoshi is the one carrying your tub of lard ass everytime you go on one of your RPG/Platforming adventures! This way, King Yoshi didn't die in vain and his legacy will be remembered for generations to come!" Toad cried.

"Who's Yoshi? Is that a name of a cereal?" Peach asked.

"No, he's the name of some guy who has an excessive amount of fans that will literally kill each other and everyone else just to touch his face," Jojora snarled.

"Since Daisy is dead, could one of you guys pay for the liposuction in her place? In exchange, I will, um, give you 10 pounds of garlic!" Wario pleaded but no one bothered to respond.

"I can't believe Daisy is dead...I can't believe I just let her die...especially after what I've done to her..." Luigi said in despair.

"Please don't blame yourself, Luigi. It all happened quite fast. But...maybe it's a sign from the stars that we shouldn't be together? Would we be dishonoring Daisy if we were to stay together?" Rosalina questioned.

"No no no! I do wanna be with you...you make me feel something I've never felt before. It's just with Daisy being gone...it's kind of like a huge wake up call, you know? I feel like a part of me has been torn away..." Luigi sighed and held tight to Rosalina's hand.

"I will help take care of you and heal your broken heart, Luigi, no matter how long it takes," Rosalina said in sympathy and kissed him on the cheek.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG! YOU TWO ARE SUPER DUPER GROSS! OH MY GOD JUST STOP IT ALREADY, YOU'RE MAKING MY EYES WANT TO MELT OUT OF MY SOCKETS! ALL THE LUAISY SHIPPERS ARE GOING TO FORM A MOB AND HUNT YOU DOWN!" Fire Bro screeched.

"Leave the lovers alone! If they want to be together, then we shan't stop them because it's their lives! I am a supporter of every single potential Mario couple, including MarioxBowser!" Toadsworth exclaimed. Everyone stopped in their tracks and dropped their jaws at him.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Why would you support zuch a dangerous and impossible pairing!? Not only are you a curse to everyone and everyzing around you, but you are a fan of ze worst kind of crackship pairings ever invented in ze history of ze universe!" Ludwig yelled.

"Ugh, can someone just kill Toadsworth already!? His personality is so one-note with him being all scarily positive and supportive of every single thing!" Pauline huffed, flipping her hair back beauty queen style.

"Says the girl who feels the need to make a rude remark about every single thing, even when it's not directed at her!" Mona yelled.

"This is true. You ARE a huge bitch, Pauline. And since the bitches never survive in horror/murder/disaster movies and stories, your time is very near," Bowser said.

"Aren't you also forgetting about your daughter who also happens to, somehow, be an even bigger bitch than Pauline?" Birdo pointed out.

"WHAT!? I AIN'T NO BITCH! DON'T BE CALLING ME A BITCH! IF I'M A BITCH, THEN YOUR MAMA IS A BITCH, BITCH!" Wendy exploded and knocked down Birdo on her ass and the two got into an epic catfight.

"Great. Just what we need during this catastrophe. More drama, violence, and bitchiness," Luigi sighed.

"Speaking of Toadsworth, I actually find his positivity rather endearing and it's certainly quite an interesting contrast to all the negativity that is being spouted from usually the less fortunate-looking people of the world, which is about 90% unless said unfortunate-looking souls happen to be a billionaire," Toodles spoke in a flirtacious tone and giggled at Toadsworth.

"I can agree with that! I'm pretty ugly and so is everyone else here too! I actually don't think I've met a single good looking person in real life!" Fire Bro gasped at this epiphany. Everyone else made a scowl at him, especially the more 'prettier' and 'vain' looking ones. I hope you know who they are.

The group continued to walk down the foresty path, with Birdo and Wendy still fighting each other on the sidelines and they finally reached E. Gadd's place, with everyone else waiting there for them.

"WE HAVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR HOURS! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO WALK DOWN FROM CITY HALL TO THIS STREET!?" Sushie angrily asked.

"Excuse me? City Hall is on the other side of the city you loudmouth! We're lucky that the rest of us even made it out of there alive!" Mario rolled his eyes at the always pissed off puffer fish.

"Don't listen to Sushie, we've only been waiting here for 20 minutes. She just wants to find an excuse to scream at something," Parakarry said.

"This is all the survivors you guys have? So I assume that Dixie really is dead then? Hmm...guess I'll have to find me another slave then. Oh Peach! I grow tired of wearing this ugly ribbon on my head, but I want something to replace it. Do you mind if I wear your crown for the rest of eternity?" Bow asked.

"Oh of course! Anything for the queen of the dead! How can I say no to my best friend?" Peach cheered and gave Bow her crown.

"HUH? B-BUT I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND, PEACH!" Toad cried and almost had a heart attack.

"MOVING ON! Yeah, so, the aliens attacked us at our graduation ceremony as well. Koopie, Lakilester, and Goombario were unfortunately killed there...actually scratch that, Koopie and Goombario were the only unfortunate deaths that happened and the ones that we should actually care about. I don't know what happened to Lakilulu, but I really doubt any of us care about her either," Paper-Yoshi explained.

"Hey! Goombella and Koops, since your guys' significant others are dead, it makes perfect sense for the both of you to get together now! Destiny has killed your loved ones in order to bring you two close!" Bombette said, trying to be a matchmaker.

"Bombette...just...stop. I'm, like, SO not in the mood for this right now," Goombella grunted.

"Me neither. Once I'm done grieving over Koopie, THEN I'll go for Goombella," Koops replied. Everyone else shrieked at this.

"Well, that was certainly...um...out of character..." Ms. Mowz said.

Right after that, someone that no one ever wanted to see came in and joined the group.

"Hey guys! I managed to actually survive the alien massacre! How crazy is that!? I must have a guardian angel watching over me or something!" Lakilulu AKA the bitch demon from hell cheered. Everyone else groaned at her actually still being alive.

"omfg y da hell is dis bich not ded yet. if she dont die in da nxt chapta im killin ha myself," Queen Bee complained.

"I agree, but let's forget zat for now. We need to speak to E. Gadd and ask him if zere's anything he can do to help us out with ze aliens," Ludwig said and rung his doorbell. After about 30 seconds of waiting, the professor opened the door.

"Hello? Oh, hi guys! What can I do you for?" E. Gadd asked in surprise.

"Hello! We'd like to speak to E. Gadd please. Are you his brother?" Watt asked.

"Um...no...I AM E. Gadd. Is there something you guys need help with?" E. Gadd asked again.

"Yes there is. I'm pretty sure you know by now how out of control the situation with the aliens has gotten. We all thought that, well, with you being such a genius and all, you would know of a way to make some kind of weapon that can easily obliterate the aliens," Mario spoke. E. Gadd immediately smirked upon hearing what he had to say.

"Actually...I am doing something just like that in my lab. Come. Follow me," the professor gestured and everyone entered in relief. They all followed him downstairs and entered his enormous underground laboratory.

"Good word! You have some very, err, interesting creations here! Mind telling us why you created and messed with such odd specimens?" Bobbery asked, noting the odd, deformed creatures that looked like mixtures of several species placed in various, typical looking lab glass tanks.

"Oh I just like to experiment and test out some interesting theories that I came up with over the years. But, um, let's not worry about that right now, the weapon I'm working on is in here..." E. Gadd said and led them all to a big room with some huge object in the dead center. It looked exactly like a laser gun, except quadruple times bigger.

"GOODNESS GRACIOUS! LOOK AT THAT! That's the biggest spider I've ever seen in my entire life!" Flurrie shrieked, pointing to a black widow that was sitting comfortably on its spider web in one of the back corners of the ceiling.

"Ugh, great, now it's gonna bother me for the rest of the time we're here. E. Gadd, can you use that gun thing to blast that ugly tramp into pieces?" Mona asked.

"Not yet. Work on this beautiful piece of machinery isn't finished just yet, but, assuming everything goes according to plan, I'm hoping to have it done by tomorrow!" E. Gadd said in excitement.

"TOMORROW!? But we don't have until tomorrow! The aliens could come to this place any second and destroy us all! I came out here to have a damn good time, but I'm honestly feeling so attacked and threatened right now!" Ms. Mowz cried.

"Uhh...please do calm down, miss. I assure you there is no way the aliens can reach us so soon because this place has quite good protection against practically anything you can think of. If anything does happen, just leave it all to me! I promise there's no need to worry!" E. Gadd reassured which made everyone a tiny bit relieved since they knew they could depend on E. Gadd.

"Alright then, we trust you! So, until then...what should we do?" Bobbery asked.

"Just hang around, catch a breather, eat, drink, maybe even sleep...there's plenty of rooms both here and in the house above to do all that in. I'll let you guys know how the progress on the laser gun is going later on," E. Gadd said. Everyone happily nodded and went off to do their own thing.

* * *

Queen Bee dragged DK into a nearby room and locked the door.

"finaly i gotchu 2 maself u sexi ape. u don kno how long i been dreamin of dis moment," the bee flirted with a smirk.

"EH!? What the fudge do you want from meeeee!? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG IT WAS ALL TANKY KONG'S FAULT THAT HE RAN OVER THAT MIDGET CLOWN!" DK cried and fell over on his back.

"omg ur breath stank so bad but watever i dun care i jus wana make ya feel real gud," Queen Bee got more excited as each second passed by as she made her way over to the helpless ape.

The door suddenly slammed open.

"DK...are you in here? I really need to talk to-" It was Diddy that spoke but he suddenly stopped when he saw Queen Bee on top of DK. The two of them looked at Diddy in surprise and immediately felt the most awkward they've ever felt before.

"um wat da fuk i coulda swore i loked dat door," the honey queen suddenly spoke.

Diddy then broke out into more tears. "WAAAAAAHHHHHHH! WHY DK, WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH SOME FAILED, WANNABE RAPPER!? WHY CAN'T YOU BE WITH A GIRL WHO IS NICE AND SUCCESSFUL AND WHO WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU!? WAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"um scuse me bich my label was da 1 who faled me cuz dey were hela stupd und wanted sum otha ho named toady azalea or sumtin," Queen Bee defended herself.

"Oh...oh boy...MY STOMACH IS ABOUT TO UNLEASH THE BEAST WITHIN!" DK screeched and ran out of there like the speed of light to the bathroom.

* * *

The paper characters, excluding Bow, were exploring E. Gadd's underground lair, taking in all the fascinating inventions E. Gadd came up with over the years.

"Wow! How the hell does E. Gadd make the time to create all these weird things? I mean, look at this here! It's a freaking robot that has chainsaws for hands and rollerblades for feet!" Paper-Yoshi exclaimed, staying as far away from that contraption as possible.

"I have no idea, but you gotta hand it to him, the dude is a genius. I wonder why he never sells this stuff or puts it out there for the world to see? He would certainly make tons of money and fame!" Bombette said, looking carefully at a fishbowl that contained a metallic fish with razor sharp teeth.

"Hey, I just realized something, why the hell do all of us always hang out in the same group together? Do we not have other friends or lives outside of the Paper Crew?" Parakarry asked.

"Wow Parakarry, I totally didn't realize that hanging out with the same people for a long time was considered an awful thing!" Goombella said sarcastically.

"It's not, but I just realized that the more this group hangs out with each other exclusively, the more the fans will want to separate us from the main cast and thus be further shunned from the stories they write and whatnot," the mailman explained.

"I do believe you don't know what you're talking about, dearie. Who gives a rat's bum if we only hang out with each other? Is there a rule that says we MUST interact with the main cast to prove that we are not irrelevant and that all of us, besides Lakilulu and Lakilester, have the potential to be more interesting than those overrated video game celebrities?" Flurrie ranted just a bit.

"HEY! I so too have the potential to be interesting! And by the way, why isn't Lakilester here!? Don't tell me he died in the alien massacre!" Lakilulu cried.

"Oh yeah, he totally did! First he got shot, then he got stabbed, then his arms were cut off, then his legs, and then his head! It was soooooo cool, I wish I could see something like that again!" Watt happily described (and lied).

"WHAT!? OH MY GOD THAT IS TERRIBLE! DID YOU GUYS TRY TO SAVE HIM AT LEAST!?" Lakilulu screamed in tremendous shock.

"Are you serious right now? Did you forget the fact that all of us HATE Lakilester and if it weren't for the dangerous situation we're in right now, we would throw a party to celebrate his death?" Ms. Mowz said.

"Yeah! Where the hell have you been for the past 13 years, dummy? UGH, I swear, if the aliens come here, we are SO using you as a shield!" Bombette yelled.

Lakilulu started to sob. "You people are just cruel! You set a bad example for the kids that play the games and read the stories! And if I'm so bad, then why do you all let me hang out with you?"

"BECAUSE WE NEED SOMEONE TO PICK ON FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT, DUH! GOD YOU ARE SO FLIPPIN' STUPID! I WISH I COULD TURN THE CHAINSAW ROBOT ON SO HE CAN CUT YOU INTO BILLIONS OF PIECES!" Sushie raged.

"Changing the subject here...does anyone else get a weird vibe from E. Gadd? I mean...with all these crazy inventions he's made, it actually seems a bit scary how he could potentially use this stuff to cause mass chaos and destruction," Bobbery pointed out.

"Are you suggesting the fact that E. Gadd is secretly a psychopath and is possibly intent on taking over the world with said crazy inventions?" Parakarry asked, hopping on the assumption express.

"Uhhh...no. That's not what I meant at all. I just mean it's kind of eerie how he has all these inventions and experiments yet he has never used them in the outside world. If he wanted to create all these zany things then why would he just keep him here for no one else to see?" Bobbery questioned.

"Um, I guess you'll just have to ask E. Gadd that. But you may have a point...all these things he created seriously creep me out..." Koops shivered.

* * *

Luigi and Rosalina went back upstairs into the main house.

"So...we're alone together again. Did you wanna talk or vent out anything that's on your mind, Luigi?" Rosalina asked.

"No no, I think I've pretty much said everything I needed to say before. I'm okay now, don't worry," Luigi responded with a smile.

"Good! So what do you wanna do now? Do you wanna go check up on your brother and Peach?" Rosalina asked.

"Nah, I'm sure they're fine. I was actually kinda hoping we could find a room so we could, you know, kiss and such..." Luigi smirked with a wink.

"Ugh, you wanna do that now despite the horrible and stressful situation we are currently in?" Rosalina grumbled.

"It was just a suggestion! I didn't say we HAD to do it, I just couldn't think of anything else..." Luigi sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Actually...you're right. I can't think of anything else either. Let's go!" Rosalina cheered in excitement and ran upstairs to find a room for privacy.

* * *

Wario, Mona, Toad, and Jojora explored another room which was small and had a chair right in the center with some kind of machine next to it that had a bunch of wires connected to it.

"Wario, can you stop following me? I've told you before, I don't like you that way!" Mona complained.

"I'm not following you, I'm following the fairy! Now that we're safe from the aliens, I have a little something I wanna say to her!" Wario said in a threatening tone.

"Hey, I'm following her for the same reason too! Did you suddenly become telepathic or something?" Toad gasped.

"ALL OF YOU STOP FOLLOWING ME! I don't want to hear your stupid questions either! We are at a time where we could be vaporized at any second so stop the drama and tell me what the hell this machinery is right now!" Jojora demanded.

"That machine looks like one of those lie detector thingies...except more advanced looking. Why would E. Gadd have this in here?" Mona guessed.

"Who cares!? If this thing is actually a lie detector thingamajig, then we can use it on the fairy tramp and snag some truth out of her!" Wario evily grinned.

"WHAT!? WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DO THAT FOR!? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?" Jojora shrieked and backed away from them.

"We know that you're a gossip reporter and we know that you've been spreading rumors about us and our friends so you are gonna tell us which ones you made up and told the media about or else we'll...um...sacrifice you to the aliens!" Toad threatened.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU TWO ARE FREAKING PSYCHO! LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT! MONA, DON'T JUST STAND THERE, HELP ME OUT FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Jojora screeched and tried to scramble out of there but the two held her back in the chair.

"Well they have a point, you know. You DO spread a lot of lies about everyone and it doesn't help that you're a bitch, so no thanks!" Mona spoke the truth and ended it with a bright smile.

"Wario, hold her down while I attach these things to her arms! Mona, get your phone out and start recording this! This is going to be a fun little game..." Toad laughed like a madman.

* * *

Fire Bro was in E. Gadd's bedroom, going through his things for no reason.

"Wow, this dude's clothes are so boring! None of them have any cool designs or fancy colors, they're just so bland and ugly! Do all old people wear clothes like this? How old is E. Gadd anyways? 95?" Fire Bro ranted to himself, throwing his clothes all over the place and then started to sniff through his drawers. He opened up one and find a bunch of knives, all in different shapes and sizes.

"WOAH! This guy must have an obsession with knives! How radical!" Fire Bro said in amazement and opened up the next drawer, which contained guns that also came in different shapes and sizes.

"That's a lot of guns! What would he need all of them for? Oh that's right, probably for the cows that live nearby here. Their mooing can give anyone a migraine!" Fire Bro groaned and opened up the next drawer. It contained some kind of huge drawing and blueprints for a huge machinery. There was a drawing of a bunch of, what looked like, aliens walking over to this machine while some kind of huge signal wave was coming out from the satellite from the top of the machine.

"Wow! This guy is a great drawer! I am totally jealous but this drawing is super confusing. What is it suppose to represent? Reincarnation? I dunno! I'll go show Peach this because she'll probably know what it is since she is extraordinarily intelligent!" the maniac declared, snatched the drawing, and was about to exit the bedroom until he heard a creaking noise from behind him. Fire Bro immediately turned around and gasped when he saw E. Gadd's bathroom door slowly open.

"Ah! U-um, is someone there? Hello...?" he nervously called out. He was actually a bit scared to approach the bathroom but there was no need to since he saw a familiar figure slowly come out of there.

"Oh my god...no! IT CAN'T BE! WHY!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! FNBEWFENFIEHFIEWJFWNFREUFHEOFGREOHGRGHRGRUTHT!" Fire Bro annoyingly screeched, shocked to see that an alien was in here. The maniac ran out of there but he ran so fast that he ran into the bathroom hall door and fell down.

He groaned and saw the alien upside down, coming right for him. He got out his laser gun and pointed it straight at him.

Fire Bro gulped. "Um...mommy?"

**BLAST!**

He was turned to dust/ashes/whatever you wanna call it within seconds.

* * *

Bow was in the same bathroom whose door Fire Bro had just ran into.

"HOLD ON! JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE MINUTE!" the boo yelled, who was checking herself out in the mirror with her new crown on her head.

"Damn, I look like an actual queen with this! Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most fabulous boo queen of them all? That's right, this chick! Anyone who says otherwise is not worthy of even being in the same room as me. They could go drink toilet water for all I care," Bow ranted to herself and was finally finished inflating her ego the nth degree. She exited the bathroom and was met upon a pile of dust/ashes and an alien from the opposite.

"Um...what the fu-"

**BLAST!**

The queen of the dead was now officially dead.

* * *

Birdo was in the kitchen downstairs, rummaging through the fridge for something to eat.

"I seriously feel like putting a lot of junk into my stomach right now, probably because I haven't eaten anything all day and that fight with that gutter slut koopa kinda wore me out, which I totally won by the way," Birdo said to herself and finally found something she liked. A whole bunch of grapes.

"Oh! Grapes! Yoshi liked grapes...and every other fruit you could think of..." she sighed, really missing her love.

Just as she was about to gulp them down, the alien from upstairs made its way down and spotted Birdo immediately. Birdo made eye contact with him and dropped the precious grapes in surprise.

"EH!? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!? NO! THIS MUST BE A DREAM! WAIT, WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY!? UGH! SOMEONE, HEEEEEEEEEELP! ONE OF THOSE UGLY TWATS ARE IN HERE!" Birdo screeched and the alien shot at her multiple times but barely missed, managing to destroy cabinets and silverware in the process though.

She ran to the basement door and slammed it open then ran down the stairs. The alien stood at the top of the steps, aimed carefully, and shot Birdo as she ran down, splashing her dust/ashes all over the room.

Little did everyone else know, the you-know-what was about to hit the fan once again very soon.

EOC.

This story belongs to the Paper Mario characters now, so don't even bother rooting for the main cast because they will all be exterminated. ;) XD Lol jk, jk. I have to say though, I HAVE grown a humongous liking for the PM cast so I apologize in advance if I give those characters too much screentime in not only this story but future stories as well. I also apologize for the late update...things with school and life got super busy extremely quickly so I was a bit overwhelmed by that. I'm hoping to get Mushroom Wars updated much quicker though, preferably in around 3 or 4 days.


	6. Notice

Hello viewers, I have come to the decision that I am going to discontinue this fic. Honestly...I'm just not feeling it as much as I thought I would and clearly so do some readers as I received a complaint PM a few days ago, pertaining to how this fic is definitely a lot 'weaker' than the other horror/comedy fics I've done (though I kinda perceived it as a threat due to some certain 'words' this person used...). I guess it also doesn't help that I'm basically updating three stories at the same time, along with a Halloween story coming up next month so I'm pretty much juggling a lot of crap at once. I'm so sorry about this...sometimes I get overconfident about an idea for a story, so I push it out there and during the middle of it, I realize I'm stuck on how to make it more interesting or I came to an epiphany about how my execution was a lot more off than I thought it would be. Meh. There's also the fact that I'm REALLY itching to write a more serious story since almost all of the fics I've done in the past year were mostly humor (I think of Mushroom Wars as half-serious and half-humorous) so it would be a great change.

However, one good thing DID come out of this...the paper mario characters. To me, they were the funnest part in writing this story and made me realize that I potentially like using them more than the main cast. I guess it's because I find that they have so much more personality and potential than most of the other characters. It even gave me an idea to write a Comedy series focused on them, but if it does happen, it won't be until next year. (And no, this doesn't mean I'm shunning the main characters at all, lol)

Once again, I am truly sorry about this, but I do believe it's the best thing for me right now. I'll make sure to update Mario Party Deluxe as much as I can before the Halloween story is released, which I expect to submit on October 31. So yeah, the next story update from me will be MPD, then Mushroom Wars, then MPD, then Mushroom Wars...yeah, you get the plan. Until one of those stories are finished, I'm not submitting any more stories, except for a Christmas one-shot coming up around Christmas time (duh).

I understand if you're upset or frustrated at me, I would be too, but sometimes you gotta make mistakes and take risks in order to grow as a writer and a person.

Oh, and in case anyone's wondering, the survivors I had planned for this were Mario, Peach, Bombette, Queen Bee, and Diddy. ToadsworthxToodles was going to happen too, lol.

And one last thing, I'm considering making a bonus chapter for Zombie Madness...if I decide to do it, it'll be updated before the middle of the next month.

~Stay cool.


End file.
